Please, just get over yourself, monkey person, you ain't all that and a bowl of tofu, oh snap.

Dat's right, uh huh, we all gansta up in here, Torn Slattern and Nugget Ranchers

"King Kong" the musical coming to Broadway. What? You didn't know King Kong was gay? The guy is a buffed vegan who had a platonic relationship with a hot blonde. Super gay.

The winner of the Delaware Republican Senate Primary, Christine O’Donnell, is an outspoken opponent of masturbation. Finally, a politician who won’t jerk us around.


The winner of the Delaware Republican Senate Primary, Christine O’Donnell, is an outspoken opponent of masturbation. A quick hand poll revealed voters expect her to beat off her opponent.


The good news is the Lady Gaga meat dress could go on sale on eBay for charity. The bad news? The leading bidders on the meat dress are presumed to be Taco Bell, McDonalds and Sizzlers.


The winner of the Delaware Republican Senate Primary, Christine O’Donnell, is an outspoken opponent of masturbation. Ironically, she expects to win the election single-handed.


Joe Montana - the QB at Notre Dame at the time -said most of the movie “Rudy” did not happen. Montana went on to add Brian Piccolo faked being sick in “Brian’s Song,” the championship game in “Hoosiers” was fixed and when Ray Kinsella asked his dad for a catch in “Field of Dreams,” his dad told him to shut up and run to the store for some smokes.


A Michigan thief was caught on a security camera before he put on his Darth Vadar mask. Authorities warn the suspect is armed, dumb and a virgin.


The rumor is Shaquille O’Neal has proposed. Look for a very special “Shaq Vs.” where Shaq attempts to go on their honeymoon and not seriously hurt his new wife.


John Mayer announced he has quit Twitter. But don’t worry, his racist penis will continue to post messages on the KKK Facebook page.


A Michigan thief was caught on a security camera before he put on his Darth Vadar mask. Police are now searching for the world’s stupidest virgin.


A Michigan thief was caught on a security camera before he put on his Darth Vadar mask. The only thing authorities are sure of is he did not need the money for a date.