Have a scary, happy, merry Thankshallowistmas, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


How rough is it?

This economy is rough, Ford announced they may sell Volvo, that’s nothing, Paris Hilton may sell her vulva.

Yes
Hillary Clinton was appointed Secretary of State thus answering my prayers for four more years of Clinton jokes.

Don’t mistake
On the space station they fixed that machine that turns urine into water. Now don’t confuse this with the Detroit Lions, they’re a machine that turns a football season into urine.

What an idiot
New York Giant receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself in the thigh with an illegal handgun in a New York nightclub; or as Adam “Pacman” Jones calls shooting yourself in a nightclub: cutting out the middleman.

New York Giant receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself in the thigh with an illegal handgun in a New York night club; that’s the stupidest thing he could do besides . . . no, that’s the single stupidest thing he could ever do.

Since you asked:
“Thanks a lot Lex, you ninny, by predicting Obama would not appoint Hillary Secretary of State, you’ve just stuck us with four more years of that caustic she-witch.”

Now hang on there, inner tirade, not so fast. Hillary has shown herself to be a good sport with a sense of humor. And she may be a she-witch, but according to her constituents in New York, she was an awesome she-witch. She gets things done. That is just what you want in a Secretary of State. Would you want to mess with Hillary? Hell, Bill Clinton doesn’t want to mess with Hillary. Terrorists don't want to mess with Hillary.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kristen Stewart is still a snotty little annoying tool.