Tuesday, November 18, 2008

C’est la vie
In France, pilots, teachers and postal workers are going on strike. In addition, all French etiquette experts, hygienists and military personnel will strike, but it’s doubtful anyone will notice.

Happy Birthday to Prince Charles who is 60; Charles is at that awkward age, too old to start a new career, too young to retire to pasture to graze with Camilla.

Tainted love
The United States will no longer import milk from China. China’s milk is so tainted their milk cartons have pictures of missing health inspectors.

NASA has announced the space station has a system that recycles urine for drinking water. Introducing new zesty flavored Tang.

NASA has announced the space station has a system that recycles urine for drinking water. In a related story, applications for the astronaut training program have plummeted.

Not good
This economy is rough. This morning I saw Paris Hilton standing on a Hollywood Freeway off ramp, holding a sign that said; Will Skank for Food.”

The California wildfires are getting under control. It’s just in time, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger almost hurt himself. Not in a fire, trying to pronounce the word: conflagration.

Since you asked:

This is the time of year where articles are written to provide helpful holiday tips and we, all the good people here at A.l.B.b., also want to help.

How to enjoy a vegetarian Thanksgiving Dinner.

These days – especially here in California – people are becoming more health conscious. If you are the guest of vegetarians, here are some tips on how to best make it through their healthy and hearty vegetarian dinner.

Step one: walk over to the liquor cabinet. (If these people also don’t drink, run for it. They are obviously minions of some evil cult and they are trying to kidnap you, so get out now)

Step two: drink as much of whatever is in that liquor cabinet until the idea of putting up with pain-in-the-ass vegetarians for three hours doesn’t make you physically ill.

Step three: Grab a burger on your way home and vow to never step foot in those a-holes house again. Seriously, who doesn’t eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Turkeys are dumber than the average vegetable. They are too stupid, loud, smelly and annoying to be good for anything but eating them on Thanksgiving. Hell, the only thing that is more of a pain-in-the-ass than a turkey is a freaking vegetarian.

And that is how we play a.L.B.b. provides helpful holiday tips.