Monday, November 24, 2008

Square up, paddle hard, step back and drop down and in, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

“Twilight” no-header
This “Twilight” craze is wild. Apparently people just love blood sucking ghouls. But it does explain why we bailed out the slimy executives of AIG.

In an interview, the co-star of “Twilight”, Kristen Stewart, called the readers of the vampire romance trilogy “retarded.” And if anyone is qualified to judge intelligence it’s the actress who just cruelly insulted her movie’s core fans.

Congratulations, Lindsay Lohan, you are no longer the craziest pain-in-the-ass in Hollywood.

Ahh, that’s nice
Dallas Cowboy QB Tony Romo is quite a guy. Earlier he changed the flat tire for an elderly couple and he took a homeless man to a movie. And last night he helped Jessica Simpson with her book report on “Curious George.”

And he isn’t the only Cowboy giving back to the community. Today Adam “Pacman” Jones bought a spray tan for a stripper.

Ashlee Simpson and Peter Wentz had a baby and named it Bronx Mowgli. Apparently the name Beat Me and Take My Lunch was already taken.

That guy
Sarah Palin has signed a $7 mil book deal. She invested the money with Joe the Money Launderer.

Since you asked:

My lovely wife, Virginia, enjoyed the "Twilight" trilogy, and although I am not a fan, I would like to name myself president of the "I Hate Kristen Stewart" club. 

Virg is smart and I trust her judgement in everything but sappy movies. She admitted the Vampire stories were a guilty pleasure and she found fault with some of the messages. But she said the stories were compelling to the point of being addicting and I get that.  And these books may be somewhat of a chick thing. My fascination is with social crazes whether I am into them or not. Harry Potter is an example. Didn't get into the movies but I followed the craze.   

Believe me, I get that Stewart is young and grew up in Hollywood and has more than her share of that "I'm so hip I think everything hip is lame" faux rebel/pseudo-intellectual thing happening, but she is even more annoying than that.

Kristen Stewart seems to embody the overly-entitled brat epidemic that is sweeping the country. How do you whine so loudly about winning the movie star lottery?

And I got nothing against Robert Pattinson.  He seems like a great kid.  Just because I think he is gay doesn't make him gay - not that there is anything wrong with it. I think everyone who is way better looking and more talented than me - which includes, well, almost everyone - is gay.  

You know how some people are just fun to hate? Like Rosie O'Donnell? And there are some people who you hate so much they aren't even fun to hate, like Paris Hilton? Right now Kristen Stewart is the prior but in about two more idiotic interviews she could become the latter.

Don't worry, Slats and Nugs, I'll stay on top of it and keep you posted.