The bird was the word, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Not good

The economy is so rough Elliot Spitzer had to hire a hooker named Penny.

Booooring

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Mine was good but I got really sleepy and drowsy from that thing on Thanksgiving that knocks you out, what’s that called? Oh yeah, the NFL games.

Not the same

On the space station they fixed that machine that turns urine into water. Now don’t confuse this with the NFL, they’re a machine that turns Thanksgiving football into urine.

Not since then

All the NFL games on Thanksgiving were boring blowouts. There hasn’t been anything this lopsided since Nicolette Sheridan started dating David Spade.

Getting older

The next Harry Potter film is in the works, but these kids are getting up there; I think this one is called “Harry Potter and the Booty Call.”