Let’s get our get on on, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Well, that is . . . something, I guess
Cher claims she had a brief affair with a young Tom Cruise. Well, not an affair, really, but she did let him try on her clothes.
So proud
“People” came out with its world’s 100 most beautiful people issue. Did you know I made the issue? I am proud to say I am somewhere between Emeril Lagase and Shrek.
Confusing
A mayor in Chili is giving free Viagra to its senior citizens. It really messed up one assisted care facility’s bingo game, the men would shout out bingo when the Viagra kicked in whether they had bingo or not.
Amateurs
Barbara Walters admitted she once had an affair with married Senator Edward Brooke. Of course, this was before our elected officials outsourced their sex partners to professionals.
Not a good sign
On “American Idol” this week, Paula Abdul began judging a song that Jason Castro did not sing; I think Paula is losing it. Now every time Randy Jackson says dawg, Paula rolls on her back and barks uncontrollably
But why?
The daytime talk shows “Ellen” and “Rachel”, Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Ray, are fighting over an appearance by Rosie O’Donnell. And here is the weird part: they both want Rosie.
Broken record
Magician David Blaine set the world record for holding his breath on “Oprah” just over 17 minutes. This broke the previous record for holding your breath of 16 minutes set by Kate Hudson filming a love scene with Matthew McConaughey.
Too bad
“People” magazine has named Kate Hudson as the world’s most beautiful person. Naomi Campbell was going to be the “People” most beautiful cover, but she threw a cell phone at the photographer and broke the camera.
That old classic
The Chicago Cubs new Japanese star slugger, Kosuke Fukudome, is on the cover of “Sports Illustrated.” That reminds me of the punch line of one of my favorite dirty jokes: Fukudome? Hell, it nearly killed me.
Since you asked:
Let’s give a moment of silence to Eight Belles.
As with Barbaro at the 2006 Preakness, this was a stunning example of how life can be wonderful and tragic. The Kentucky Derby is one of those truly blessed events that are more than a mere sporting event. Like the Olympics, World Cup Soccer, the World Series and Wimbledon, the Kentucky Derby is a golden and special time that lives forever. History occurs before our eyes the likes of which give the wonderful hosts of Kentucky every reason to be so proud.
And then, in one tragic misstep, one of these beautiful, noble and brave creatures gets mortally hurt.
The tragedy of the death of the filly Eight Belles is an object lesson in how life can be spectacular and stupendously unfair at once. But, like with David Martin, the triathlon swimmer killed by a shark near here in Solana Beach, there is some measure of solace in knowing Eight Belles died doing what she loved. Not like the cold and timid souls of the critics who know neither victory nor defeat.
But for those who are worse than the cold, timid souls there are the pious, smug and self-righteous nut-job so-called animal lovers who would ban horse racing and keep those gallant steeds from doing what they were born for and what they live for. They need to bother someone else. Unlike the poor dogs brutally bred to dog fight, the goal of thoroughbred horse racing is to make the horse as happy and as healthy as possible.
Barbaro and Eight Belles would kick their heavenly stalls with fury at the thought of having the glorious memory of their races taken away from them - let alone stealing that moment of glory from future horses – simply to-all-too- briefly quiet a few grating , selfish and wrongly self-proclaimed animal rights know-it-alls.
With the countless number of brutalities occurring to animals outside of the world of horse racing, you would think P.E.T.A. would have enough to do. Once again, political correctness proves to be nothing more than the extortion, via free publicity, by the annoying few at the expense of common sense. Anyone with any sense who has ever witnessed a thoroughbred horse run knows they love racing and live for it.
As with the all-too-brief time that our beloved pets are with us, I take comfort in knowing race horses like Barbaro and Eight Belles lived their lives to the fullest by living and loving and running one second at a time. And I take comfort that animals, unlike us, have no regrets and they cannot measure time, nor do they care, as we do, if their time with us is far too brief. All the animals care is if they love and are loved and that they get to do what they were born to do. It would take a horribly selfish person to deny them that chance.
Now excuse me, I have to go throw a ball for a couple of Kasey and Wrigley Labradors and rub a couple of doggie tummies while I am at it. Hopefully P.E.T.A. won’t find out that I am using the dogs for my own selfish ball-throwing and tummy-rubbing pleasure.
P.S. To any P.E.T.A. members I may have offended by this post? Buh bye. And, by the way, sitting around on your fat ass trying to figure out more ways to whine about the endless things that you don't like doesn't make you an animal lover. The Vet who ran out and put Eight Belles to sleep before she had time to come out of shock? Now that is an animal lover.
Well, that is . . . something, I guess
Cher claims she had a brief affair with a young Tom Cruise. Well, not an affair, really, but she did let him try on her clothes.
So proud
“People” came out with its world’s 100 most beautiful people issue. Did you know I made the issue? I am proud to say I am somewhere between Emeril Lagase and Shrek.
Confusing
A mayor in Chili is giving free Viagra to its senior citizens. It really messed up one assisted care facility’s bingo game, the men would shout out bingo when the Viagra kicked in whether they had bingo or not.
Amateurs
Barbara Walters admitted she once had an affair with married Senator Edward Brooke. Of course, this was before our elected officials outsourced their sex partners to professionals.
Not a good sign
On “American Idol” this week, Paula Abdul began judging a song that Jason Castro did not sing; I think Paula is losing it. Now every time Randy Jackson says dawg, Paula rolls on her back and barks uncontrollably
But why?
The daytime talk shows “Ellen” and “Rachel”, Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Ray, are fighting over an appearance by Rosie O’Donnell. And here is the weird part: they both want Rosie.
Broken record
Magician David Blaine set the world record for holding his breath on “Oprah” just over 17 minutes. This broke the previous record for holding your breath of 16 minutes set by Kate Hudson filming a love scene with Matthew McConaughey.
Too bad
“People” magazine has named Kate Hudson as the world’s most beautiful person. Naomi Campbell was going to be the “People” most beautiful cover, but she threw a cell phone at the photographer and broke the camera.
That old classic
The Chicago Cubs new Japanese star slugger, Kosuke Fukudome, is on the cover of “Sports Illustrated.” That reminds me of the punch line of one of my favorite dirty jokes: Fukudome? Hell, it nearly killed me.
Since you asked:
Let’s give a moment of silence to Eight Belles.
As with Barbaro at the 2006 Preakness, this was a stunning example of how life can be wonderful and tragic. The Kentucky Derby is one of those truly blessed events that are more than a mere sporting event. Like the Olympics, World Cup Soccer, the World Series and Wimbledon, the Kentucky Derby is a golden and special time that lives forever. History occurs before our eyes the likes of which give the wonderful hosts of Kentucky every reason to be so proud.
And then, in one tragic misstep, one of these beautiful, noble and brave creatures gets mortally hurt.
The tragedy of the death of the filly Eight Belles is an object lesson in how life can be spectacular and stupendously unfair at once. But, like with David Martin, the triathlon swimmer killed by a shark near here in Solana Beach, there is some measure of solace in knowing Eight Belles died doing what she loved. Not like the cold and timid souls of the critics who know neither victory nor defeat.
But for those who are worse than the cold, timid souls there are the pious, smug and self-righteous nut-job so-called animal lovers who would ban horse racing and keep those gallant steeds from doing what they were born for and what they live for. They need to bother someone else. Unlike the poor dogs brutally bred to dog fight, the goal of thoroughbred horse racing is to make the horse as happy and as healthy as possible.
Barbaro and Eight Belles would kick their heavenly stalls with fury at the thought of having the glorious memory of their races taken away from them - let alone stealing that moment of glory from future horses – simply to-all-too- briefly quiet a few grating , selfish and wrongly self-proclaimed animal rights know-it-alls.
With the countless number of brutalities occurring to animals outside of the world of horse racing, you would think P.E.T.A. would have enough to do. Once again, political correctness proves to be nothing more than the extortion, via free publicity, by the annoying few at the expense of common sense. Anyone with any sense who has ever witnessed a thoroughbred horse run knows they love racing and live for it.
As with the all-too-brief time that our beloved pets are with us, I take comfort in knowing race horses like Barbaro and Eight Belles lived their lives to the fullest by living and loving and running one second at a time. And I take comfort that animals, unlike us, have no regrets and they cannot measure time, nor do they care, as we do, if their time with us is far too brief. All the animals care is if they love and are loved and that they get to do what they were born to do. It would take a horribly selfish person to deny them that chance.
Now excuse me, I have to go throw a ball for a couple of Kasey and Wrigley Labradors and rub a couple of doggie tummies while I am at it. Hopefully P.E.T.A. won’t find out that I am using the dogs for my own selfish ball-throwing and tummy-rubbing pleasure.
P.S. To any P.E.T.A. members I may have offended by this post? Buh bye. And, by the way, sitting around on your fat ass trying to figure out more ways to whine about the endless things that you don't like doesn't make you an animal lover. The Vet who ran out and put Eight Belles to sleep before she had time to come out of shock? Now that is an animal lover.
posted by Alex at
1:55 PM
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