Wednesday, November 14, 2007

It is a spreading the L thing, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Back to normal

New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has officially dropped his proposal to give driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants; now if illegal immigrants want to drive in New York City, they’ll have to become cab drivers just like all the rest.

Oh, well, in that case
A man in India married a dog; but it’s not nearly as creepy as it sounds, the guy in India who married the dog? All the romantic stuff is being outsourced to a Labrador retriever.

We kid the French
France is facing a massive nationwide work strike; you know the hardest part about a work strike in France? Distinguishing the strike from the rest of the time the French don’t work.

If only
The Army has spent well over two billion dollars on a helicopter with one single design flaw: It crashes in hot weather. If only they could figure out a way to rig a huge fan to the top of it.

The San Diego Charger’s run defense faces a scary set of backs in the Jacksonville Jaguars’ Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew. How scary? Taylor and Jones-Drew are scarier than passing out and waking up next to the winner of an “Ugly Betty” look-alike contest.


The Jacksonville Jaguar’s Fred Taylor became the fastest runner in the NFL to reach the 10,000 yard mark. The Jag’s running game is more annoying to opponents than people who pronounce Jaguar with three syllables.

Yah, sure, yabetchyah
The US women’s soccer team has appointed a head coach from Sweden, Pia Sundhage. There will be a period of adjustment for the American girls with the Swedish coach; like when she says they will begin calisthenics with twenty-five yumping yacks followed by ten minutes of yuggling the ball with their feet.

Again, oui kid the French
1-9 Notre Dame has surrendered so much yardage so easily to opponents, but, honestly, what can you really expect from a team with a French name?

“The Times of London” reports that Michael Jordan's divorce will cost him $168 million when it becomes final in the next few weeks. The only good news for Michael? Sir Paul McCartney will soon name Jordan an honorary Beatle.