Bring it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


People, people who need people . . .
“People” magazine has named Matt Damon as the sexiest man alive for 2007; here is my question: did they even look at my tape?

A lot riding on this
1-9 Notre Dame faces 1-9 Duke. There is a serious wager involved. The loser will have to change their team name to the Miami Dolphins.


Makes sense
Golfer Sergio Garcia set a record by earning the most money on the PGA, $3.7 million, without winning a single tournament; as a result, Sergio was signed by the New York Yankees.



The Fifth Beatle
“The Times of London” reports that Michael Jordan's divorce will cost him $168 million when it becomes final in the next few weeks. The only good news for Michael? Sir Paul McCartney will name Jordan an honorary Beatle.



That would explain it
Hillary Clinton’s campaign admitted they plant questions with audience members to control her campaign talks. This explains the flood of questions asking who designs Hillary’s beautiful pants suits.


Make up your damn mind
In the next debate, democrats are going to focus on Hillary Clinton’s support and then back- peddling on New York’s proposal to give driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. Even John Kerry said; “A candidate can’t support an issue and then reverse their position. Oh wait, yes they can. No, I was wrong, they can’t. Or can they?”


Huh?
France faces a massive work strike. Isn't that like Ashley Olsen going on a hunger strike?

Plan ahead
President Bush announced he is going to attack air traffic delays. So that means, if you’re planning to travel this Thanksgiving, you better have left three days ago.