Friday, October 26, 2007

In a New York minute everything can change, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Not good

The bad news is that Britney Spears lost custody rights of her children last week; the really bad news? She hasn’t even realized they’re gone yet.

Now you see her, now you don’t
FBI agents raided a Las Vegas warehouse owned by magician David Copperfield. They seized nearly $2 million in cash. It turns out that money was going to be used by Copperfield to get super model Claudia Schiffer to marry him again.

What a deal
Thanks to a Taco Bell nationwide World Series “Free Taco For A Stolen Base” promotion, everyone in the country, on October 30th , 2-5 pm, can get a free taco; and, as a result, on October 31, 9-12 am, everyone in the country can get free diarrhea.

They’re right pronounciational
President Bush flew to San Diego, Thursday. Apparently disaster experts feel it would provide much needed comic relief for the fire victims to hear President Bush try and pronounce combustible.

Arnold Schwarzenegger did a great job providing aid and moral support to San Diegans during the fires. In addition, Arnold provided much needed comic relief when Arnold tried to pronounce the word: conflagration.

So adorable
Microsoft is buying Facebook for $240 million. When asked to comment, Bill Gates said, “It cost us $240 million with an M? Oh my, that is so cute.”

We kid the Hof and the Asians
Have you seen “America’s Got Talent” host David Hasselhoff lately? I don’t want to say he’s had too much work done, but one more face lift and Hasselhoff will look so Asian he’ll have to eat Chop Suey off the floor.

That’s, uh, that’s a true story, Ed
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger did a great job providing aid and moral support to San Diegans during the fires. Now, I don’t want to say California’s previous Governor, Gray Davis, did a bad job during the 2003 Cedar fire, but Paris Hilton has had more hose than ever got on that fire.

Getting up there
The Spice Girls are going on tour. You can tell the Spice Girls are getting older. Their upcoming tour’s corporate sponsor? Old Spice.

The San Diego area is trying to make the best after their disaster; in fact, a nearby Temecula winery has just come out with a new barbeque flavored Cabernet.

A lot of folks
500,000 people were evacuated in San Diego. This fire chased away more people than would a Britney Spears-Sanjaya comeback tour.

The fires were so bad in Malibu, Mel Gibson asked a fireman if he was Jewish.

Keep us posted
There is still no word yet on how the San Diego fires will effect the Donald Trump- Rosie O’Donnell feud.

Since you asked:
Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebodys going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hang on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door

In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute
Things can get a little strange
In a New York minute
Everything can change
In a New York minute

Don Henley's "New York Minute"

To Put Things In Perspective:
At one point Monday afternoon, with my wife, daughter and two dogs thankfully evacuated to friends in Point Loma, the wind, smoke and ashes were so thick, I couldn’t stand outside to rake up leaves without watering eyes and coughing, so I came in my house, turned on the news to see a helicopter shot of gridlocked traffic from just-evacuated Fallbrook slowly snaking through the Camp Pendleton Marine base because Interstate 15 was closed to the East.

Just then, the TV went blank and the only sounds I heard were the howling winds and a distant siren. Not to get too melodramatic, but I was reminded of the line of Madeline Stowe’s character, Cora Munro, in “Last of the Mohicans.”

“The whole world is set on fire.”

And we were about four miles from the closest Witch fire on Villa De La Valle. Imagine what it was like for those closer?

Something tells me that, in our neighborhood anyway, there won't be many witches this Halloween.