Tonight we grillin’ and chillin’ righteously old school on our narrow behinds, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Bam
Did you see the ending of “The Sopranos.”? It was wild. Tony gets shot in the face by Vice President Dick Cheney.

Who knew?
In a telephone interview, Paris Hilton told Barbara Walters that she has discovered god in jail. Apparently god is a big, tattooed sadistic woman in the showers named Josafatrina.

A let down, so to speak
“The Sopranos” was the most disappointing ending since Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s wedding night.

On second thought
Paris Hilton was carted off to jail sobbing and yelling for her Mom. It almost makes you want to feel sorry for Paris. Nahhhhh.

How bad could it be?
“The New York Daily News” reports Paris Hilton’s medical problems in jail was because she refused to eat or drink for fear of a guard taking a picture of her relieving herself on her cell toilet. What’s the big deal? We’ve seen worse. We’ve seen her try and act.

We kid those French because they take a joke so well
Spaniard Rafael Nadal won his third French Open in a row. Nadal has won in Paris so much he has been named an honorary German.

Ouch
World Naked Bike day was yesterday. Today is “Apply lotion to your crotch day.”

World Naked Bike day was yesterday. That makes today “Don’t buy a used bike seat” day.”

That would be bad
In a telephone interview, Paris Hilton told Barbara Walters that she has discovered god in jail. In fact, Paris said that every day she prays that Rosie O’Donnell doesn’t commit a crime and gets sent to her jail.