It is hard out here

We gonna dabble in the babble up in this here up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

To quote Borat: “I love the U.S. and A.”
Miss USA, Tara Conner, nearly lost her title. She was accused of excessive drinking, promiscuity, cocaine use and public lesbian displays. In short, she was charged with impersonating Paris Hilton.  

Miss USA, Tara Conner, nearly lost her title. She was accused of excessive drinking, promiscuity, cocaine use and public lesbian displays. About the only thing you can say about all of those charges is: USA! USA! USA! USA! Is this a great country or what?


Since you asked:
This is that time of year where our loved ones travel the length and breadth of this great country to be with their loved ones – wait, I thought they loved us? – for Christmas. The problem with that is that involves airline travel.

Here is a list of the Top Things You Don’t Want To Hear From The Stranger Sitting Next to You on a Plane.

“Uh oh, I can’t find Joey. Wow this is just like that movie; “Snakes on a Plane.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten at Taco Bell before we took off.”

“Excuse me, but my invisible friend Dewey is sitting there.”

“My name is Akbar. And what is being your name, you wretched infidel?”

“Whew, I was just at the bar and can our pilot pack away the booze.”

“Don’t you just love, love, love Ashlee Simpson? I just love, love, love Ashley Simpson.”

“Have you taken the time to learn about Scientology?”

“What is with that smoke coming from the wing?”

“Now, I know you think you have enough life insurance, but let me tell you something . . .”

And the number one thing you don’t want to hear from the stranger sitting next to you on a plane:

“Hello, my name is Kevin Federline.”