It is hard out here

You best square yourself correct-like and start producing Tiffany Cufflinks toot sweet, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Finally, good news for K-Fed
In sad news, George Clooney’s pig Max passed away; on the bright side, Kevin Federline has moved up a notch on the “People” world’s sexiest man list.

Ripped and Torn
Did you see the D.U.I. mug shot of actor Rip Torn? Even Nick Nolte is laughing at that one. The only question is, is he more ripped or torn?

Not close
Kevin Federline is negotiating to star in his own reality show. Oh, please, K-Fed is as close to reality as Britney Spears is to a pair of panties.

Spencer Gifts is causing a controversy because it is selling a Christmas decoration that depicts two snowmen having sex. It says “Seasons greetings from “Brokeback Mountain.” You wouldn’t believe what they did with the carrots.

Hello?
At Sea World in San Diego, last week, a killer whale attacked a trainer. Authorities first became suspicious the whale might be violent when they read its name. Hello? It’s called a killer whale. It is not a “Let’s snuggle and spoon” whale.

Nerd fest
This is an exciting time for Fantasy Football players, the playoffs begin this week, Play Station 3 went on sale, and the subject of the poster in their bathroom, Pamela Anderson, is now single.

An epidemic
A study from Denmark claims that using cell phones does not cause brain cancer. Using a cell phone in crowded public places can, however, cause rudeness, annoyance and severe inconsideration.

Since you asked:

Check out Home Biscuit up in this up in here. Sure, I know those guys Feldman, Ray and Bates, but not sure who those other two guys are.

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun075005447dec07,0,6005100.story?coll=ny-viewpoints-headlines

Oh, and check out this up in here up in here.

http://halife.com/daily/laughs.html

Oh yeah, buuuhhhhbeeeeee, we all on it.