Keeping it real to the peel, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Not again
The Bush administration has declared a war on obesity. Right now they are searching for weapons of mass digestion.
Another term for it
Rumor is that Heather Locklear has broken up with David Spade. Or as Heather calls it, David is in a time out.
If Bush’s war on obesity goes as well as the war in Iraq and the war on pornography, buy stock in Krispy Kreme donuts.
Realistic goal setting
An editorial in the “Wall Street Journal” says that America can win the war in Iraq if President Bush follows the example of Abraham Lincoln. Is Lincoln a realistic goal? Instead maybe Bush should first shoot for Forrest Gump.
Not clear on that concept
Paris Hilton said she was speeding because she was in a hurry for a hamburger. At least I think that’s what Parish meant when she said she wanted a quick In and Out.
Why?
You know that creepy polygamist, Warren Steed Jeffs? The guy had 70 wives. How is that possible? “What did I do this weekend? Played golf, worked on the yard, watched the big game, married three more women, went bowling. How about you?”
70 wives? Most guys have to work full time at not pissing off one wife and we still fail.
70 wives? They didn’t need to arrest him, just showed him a list of all of his upcoming anniversaries and he turned himself in. “Lock me up, please.”
Jeffs faces serious prison time, so on the one hand, he will face constant violence, gang rapes and the vilest food imaginable. On the bright side, he doesn’t have to deal with 70 wives.
The guy has seventy wives and is looking at serious prison time. So at least, in prison, he will have a lot more freedom.
Seventy wives. “Honey, I’m going to the store, honey, I’m going to the store, honey, I’m going to the store, honey, I’m, going to the store.” By time you’re finished telling them the store is closed.
Since you asked:
Love the Serbian guys working on our remodel. Whenever he remarks on how good the house looks now, Nasha, the younger brother of the two contractors, always says;
“It looks like a beautiful woman in new shoes.” Except it comes out sounding like;
“Eat lukes like zee butifill voman en new chews.”
Not again
The Bush administration has declared a war on obesity. Right now they are searching for weapons of mass digestion.
Another term for it
Rumor is that Heather Locklear has broken up with David Spade. Or as Heather calls it, David is in a time out.
If Bush’s war on obesity goes as well as the war in Iraq and the war on pornography, buy stock in Krispy Kreme donuts.
Realistic goal setting
An editorial in the “Wall Street Journal” says that America can win the war in Iraq if President Bush follows the example of Abraham Lincoln. Is Lincoln a realistic goal? Instead maybe Bush should first shoot for Forrest Gump.
Not clear on that concept
Paris Hilton said she was speeding because she was in a hurry for a hamburger. At least I think that’s what Parish meant when she said she wanted a quick In and Out.
Why?
You know that creepy polygamist, Warren Steed Jeffs? The guy had 70 wives. How is that possible? “What did I do this weekend? Played golf, worked on the yard, watched the big game, married three more women, went bowling. How about you?”
70 wives? Most guys have to work full time at not pissing off one wife and we still fail.
70 wives? They didn’t need to arrest him, just showed him a list of all of his upcoming anniversaries and he turned himself in. “Lock me up, please.”
Jeffs faces serious prison time, so on the one hand, he will face constant violence, gang rapes and the vilest food imaginable. On the bright side, he doesn’t have to deal with 70 wives.
The guy has seventy wives and is looking at serious prison time. So at least, in prison, he will have a lot more freedom.
Seventy wives. “Honey, I’m going to the store, honey, I’m going to the store, honey, I’m going to the store, honey, I’m, going to the store.” By time you’re finished telling them the store is closed.
Since you asked:
Love the Serbian guys working on our remodel. Whenever he remarks on how good the house looks now, Nasha, the younger brother of the two contractors, always says;
“It looks like a beautiful woman in new shoes.” Except it comes out sounding like;
“Eat lukes like zee butifill voman en new chews.”
posted by Alex at
1:02 PM
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