It is hard out here
Snippity snap snap, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
The bright side
He’s going to be OK, but San Diego Charger linebacker Steve Foley was shot three times on a suspected drunk driving and resisting arrest case and is out of football for the season. The good news? When Foley recovers, he’ll get to star in a Mel Gibson movie.
Freak accident
In sad news, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin died in a freak accident from being barbed in the heart by one of the normally docile sting rays. That’s crazy. That’s like Donald Trump being killed by his hair stylist.
Oh goody
Cher is clearing her Malibu home of more than $1 million worth of her clothes and accessories in a giant garage sale. Upon hearing this, Ryan Seacrest feinted with excitement.
Labor? What's that?
Did everyone have a good Labor Day? Labor Day is the day we honor all the hard working people who have a steady job. Or as Kevin Federline calls Labor Day, Monday.
Not so good
Have you heard of the Mozart Effect? This is a research group that claims that listening to music when you are studying makes you a better student. Unless you are listening to Britney Spears, that makes you dumber than a bowl of grits.
Lance advance
Lance Armstrong was seen in a club on the Sunset strip with Paris Hilton. I think something happened. The next day Paris tested positive for too much testosterone.
Reportedly Lance Armstrong and Paris Hilton were together in a club on the Sunset Strip. Don’t confuse this with the time Paris worked in a Sunset Strip Club.
Well, except that time
Did you hear that Britney Spear’s baby, Sean Preston, said his first word? Well, not counting the times he was dropped and said; “Ouch.”
Makes you wonder
CBS’s “Survivor” is dividing teams by race. CBS says it isn’t racial but I am not sure. The white tribe is called: The No-booty tribe.
So wrong
CBS’s “Survivor” is dividing teams by race. CBS says it isn’t racially biasedl but I am not sure. The four tribes are white, black, Hispanic and Asian and their four new sponsors are Wonder Bread, Popeyes Chicken, Chevy trucks, and Top Ramen Noodles.
Not clear on the concept
S.A.T. scores are the lowest they have ever been in 31 years. It was awkward, when asked why the scores were so deplorable, one student replied; “Gosh, thanks, we just got lucky.”
When asked why the scores were the lowest in three decades, one student replied; “That depends, what is a decade?”
Oops
Ex-USC quarterback Matt Leinart ex-girlfriend, a USC women’s basketball player, is going to have his baby. They weren’t kidding when they said the Trojans have slipped in the polls.
Excuse me
Energy experts are predicting gas will be down to $2.00 a barrel by Thanksgiving. In a related story, after this Thanksgiving gas will be way up after my Aunt’s Cabbage and Bean casserole.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
Edvard Munch’s famous painting “The Scream” was recovered from thieves. It was a little awkward when they showed President Bush a picture of “The Scream” he yelled; “Hey, it’s that “Home Alone” kid.”
Edvard Munch’s famous 1893 painting “Madonna” was reportedly recovered from thieves. I’m not sure it’s authentic, the painting features Madonna in a cone bra.
So sad
Radio Shack fired 400 employees by e-mail. The worst part is most of them didn’t get the e-mail’s because their cheap Radio Shack modem was down.
Uh, no Jessica, that’s not, oh forget it
Jessica Simpson’s new album is out. It was a little awkward, when they announced Jessica’s new album, Jessica got upset and yelled “But I thought it was supposed to be on a CD? Nobody plays those old plastic albums anymore.”
Uncomfortable
A CNN broadcast of President Bush’s speech was interrupted when reporter Kyra Phillips didn’t realize her mike was live in the bathroom, where she called her sister-in-law a control freak. Their family Labor Day picnic should be fun: “Oh Kyra, honey, could I have mustard on my hot dog or am I being a control freak?”
That does it
A US Airways flight landing in Miami blew out all of its tires on landing. That settles it, from now on Star Jones has to fly on charter flights.
Ouch
This creepy guy they released in the JonBenet Ramsey case, John Mark Karr, was in Thailand for a cheap $1,600 sex change operation. It’s not really even a sex change operation. They hide a wood chipper behind a urinal.
Rice marks
Polygamist Warren Steed Jeffs was arrested and is suspected of having 70 wives70 wives? This guy has been married so many times he had to be treated for rice abrasions.
This guy has been married so many times he posted his million dollar bail by selling the blenders and George Foreman grills he received as wedding presents.
Polygamist Warren Steed Jeffs was arrested and is suspected of having 70 wives. What attracted 70 women to this mild-looking guy? Let’s just say his middle name isn’t Steed for nothing.
Since you asked:
Now, Slats and Nuggsters, you know how I hate to brag about my grilling skills, or as my peeps call it, my grizzizzle skizzizzles. But last night I made the best Quesadilla I have ever had. Period. No, really.
Grilled garlic and herb and oil marinated Foster Farm chicken breasts and then shredded them with a fork.
Placed the Monterey Jack cheese on a flour tortilla with the shredded grilled chicken and Ortega diced chilies, another tortilla, more cheese and chicken and chilies topped the double decker with a third tortilla. Got the grill medium hot and grilled them until they had nice dark grill cross marks and the rest of the tortilla was a light crispy brown. (Burritos should be soft, Quesadillas should be crunchy on the outside)
Cut it into quarters, placed two on each plate with refried beans and blue corn chips and then slathered the beans and Quesadillas with tomato and mango salsa. Garnish with chopped cilantro and Bob is your G-damn, motherfizzy Uncle.
The tortillas pick up a dreamy smoky flavor from the grill and the mild chilies add a great taste to the awesome chicken. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Them mofizzy’s be scrumpshizzy in the bezzizzlies, my didleys.
The bright side
He’s going to be OK, but San Diego Charger linebacker Steve Foley was shot three times on a suspected drunk driving and resisting arrest case and is out of football for the season. The good news? When Foley recovers, he’ll get to star in a Mel Gibson movie.
Freak accident
In sad news, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin died in a freak accident from being barbed in the heart by one of the normally docile sting rays. That’s crazy. That’s like Donald Trump being killed by his hair stylist.
Oh goody
Cher is clearing her Malibu home of more than $1 million worth of her clothes and accessories in a giant garage sale. Upon hearing this, Ryan Seacrest feinted with excitement.
Labor? What's that?
Did everyone have a good Labor Day? Labor Day is the day we honor all the hard working people who have a steady job. Or as Kevin Federline calls Labor Day, Monday.
Not so good
Have you heard of the Mozart Effect? This is a research group that claims that listening to music when you are studying makes you a better student. Unless you are listening to Britney Spears, that makes you dumber than a bowl of grits.
Lance advance
Lance Armstrong was seen in a club on the Sunset strip with Paris Hilton. I think something happened. The next day Paris tested positive for too much testosterone.
Reportedly Lance Armstrong and Paris Hilton were together in a club on the Sunset Strip. Don’t confuse this with the time Paris worked in a Sunset Strip Club.
Well, except that time
Did you hear that Britney Spear’s baby, Sean Preston, said his first word? Well, not counting the times he was dropped and said; “Ouch.”
Makes you wonder
CBS’s “Survivor” is dividing teams by race. CBS says it isn’t racial but I am not sure. The white tribe is called: The No-booty tribe.
So wrong
CBS’s “Survivor” is dividing teams by race. CBS says it isn’t racially biasedl but I am not sure. The four tribes are white, black, Hispanic and Asian and their four new sponsors are Wonder Bread, Popeyes Chicken, Chevy trucks, and Top Ramen Noodles.
Not clear on the concept
S.A.T. scores are the lowest they have ever been in 31 years. It was awkward, when asked why the scores were so deplorable, one student replied; “Gosh, thanks, we just got lucky.”
When asked why the scores were the lowest in three decades, one student replied; “That depends, what is a decade?”
Oops
Ex-USC quarterback Matt Leinart ex-girlfriend, a USC women’s basketball player, is going to have his baby. They weren’t kidding when they said the Trojans have slipped in the polls.
Excuse me
Energy experts are predicting gas will be down to $2.00 a barrel by Thanksgiving. In a related story, after this Thanksgiving gas will be way up after my Aunt’s Cabbage and Bean casserole.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
Edvard Munch’s famous painting “The Scream” was recovered from thieves. It was a little awkward when they showed President Bush a picture of “The Scream” he yelled; “Hey, it’s that “Home Alone” kid.”
Edvard Munch’s famous 1893 painting “Madonna” was reportedly recovered from thieves. I’m not sure it’s authentic, the painting features Madonna in a cone bra.
So sad
Radio Shack fired 400 employees by e-mail. The worst part is most of them didn’t get the e-mail’s because their cheap Radio Shack modem was down.
Uh, no Jessica, that’s not, oh forget it
Jessica Simpson’s new album is out. It was a little awkward, when they announced Jessica’s new album, Jessica got upset and yelled “But I thought it was supposed to be on a CD? Nobody plays those old plastic albums anymore.”
Uncomfortable
A CNN broadcast of President Bush’s speech was interrupted when reporter Kyra Phillips didn’t realize her mike was live in the bathroom, where she called her sister-in-law a control freak. Their family Labor Day picnic should be fun: “Oh Kyra, honey, could I have mustard on my hot dog or am I being a control freak?”
That does it
A US Airways flight landing in Miami blew out all of its tires on landing. That settles it, from now on Star Jones has to fly on charter flights.
Ouch
This creepy guy they released in the JonBenet Ramsey case, John Mark Karr, was in Thailand for a cheap $1,600 sex change operation. It’s not really even a sex change operation. They hide a wood chipper behind a urinal.
Rice marks
Polygamist Warren Steed Jeffs was arrested and is suspected of having 70 wives70 wives? This guy has been married so many times he had to be treated for rice abrasions.
This guy has been married so many times he posted his million dollar bail by selling the blenders and George Foreman grills he received as wedding presents.
Polygamist Warren Steed Jeffs was arrested and is suspected of having 70 wives. What attracted 70 women to this mild-looking guy? Let’s just say his middle name isn’t Steed for nothing.
Since you asked:
Now, Slats and Nuggsters, you know how I hate to brag about my grilling skills, or as my peeps call it, my grizzizzle skizzizzles. But last night I made the best Quesadilla I have ever had. Period. No, really.
Grilled garlic and herb and oil marinated Foster Farm chicken breasts and then shredded them with a fork.
Placed the Monterey Jack cheese on a flour tortilla with the shredded grilled chicken and Ortega diced chilies, another tortilla, more cheese and chicken and chilies topped the double decker with a third tortilla. Got the grill medium hot and grilled them until they had nice dark grill cross marks and the rest of the tortilla was a light crispy brown. (Burritos should be soft, Quesadillas should be crunchy on the outside)
Cut it into quarters, placed two on each plate with refried beans and blue corn chips and then slathered the beans and Quesadillas with tomato and mango salsa. Garnish with chopped cilantro and Bob is your G-damn, motherfizzy Uncle.
The tortillas pick up a dreamy smoky flavor from the grill and the mild chilies add a great taste to the awesome chicken. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Them mofizzy’s be scrumpshizzy in the bezzizzlies, my didleys.
posted by Alex at
9:30 AM
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