My dogs are my diggity dig duggie- dogs, dog Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Like that
The Oakland Raiders signed trouble-maker washout Jeff George. George is 38 and hasn’t completed a pass in the NFL in five years. Just like the Houston Texans.

Didn’t see it coming
Hurricane Katrina hit one year ago today. Except at FEMA where it happened six months ago.

See if this works
John Mark Karr claimed he killed Jon Benet Ramsey and was flown first class to Boulder Colorado where DNA tests show he is innocent. Right now I would like to tell Paris that I confess to burning Joan of Arc.

Catchy
NBC is going to turn the casting call for the musical “Grease” into a reality show. I think it’s called “Queer Eye for the Queer Guys.”

Stinky
Now you can’t board a plane with deodorant, toothpaste or mouthwash. So for the people I’ve had to sit next to on a flight, this will change absolutely nothing.

Cut that out
Greenland is reporting that global warming has caused the genitals of Polar Bears to shrink. Oh great, perpetuate the stereotype that, because they are white, their genitals are smaller.

What a dick
A man in India walked into a hospital and announced he had two penises and he wanted one removed. The man had one too many penises on him. The technical name for that is Paris Hilton-itis.

One was bigger than the other. When they asked him which one he wanted removed, he said; "What the hell do you think?"


Happened before
There was a huge brush fire at the Neverland Ranch. The last time there was a fire on the Neverland Ranch they suspected it was started when Michael Jackson rubbed two Boy Scouts together.

A.P.B.
Thousands of tickets to Barbra Streisand’s national tour were invalidated because they were purchased illegally by criminals. The suspects are considered armed and extremely gay.

Some day
Georgia beat Japan 2-1 to win the Little League World Series. So maybe next year it will be won by a team that speaks English.