It is hard out here

I’ll take your best shot, is that all you got? How you like me now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

Thanks, lady
Paris Hilton was arrested in Hollywood for a D.U.I. It was a little awkward, when they went to handcuff Paris, she reached into her purse and said; “Here, use mine.”

Stunt man
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes appear on the cover of “Vanity Fair” with their baby Suri and the buzz is that the baby looks Asian. So apparently Jackie Chan really does do his own stunts.

Now that’s a bad network
The White House said today that they have seriously weakened the Al-Qaida network. To give you an idea how weak the Al-Qaida network is, today it began airing reruns of NBC’s “Joey.”

Paris “boozed up to the” Hilton
Paris Hilton was arrested in Hollywood with a D.U.I. It was awkward when the arresting officer had to tell Paris; “No, we really mean blow, sucking on the breathalyzer won’t work.”

Paris was put in jail. So, once again, we combine the words Paris and slammer.

Paris Hilton was arrested in Hollywood with a D.U.I. On the breathalyzer sobriety test Paris blew a .8 and the arresting officer.

Paris Hilton was arrested in Hollywood for a D.U.I. It was a little awkward, when Paris was field tested for drunk driving, the arresting officer had to tell her; “Uh, thanks Miss, but that’s not the breathalyzer.”

Blame it on Rio
Lindsay Lohan is the talk of the Internet due to a paparazzi shot that revealed Lindsay not wearing panties and, well, let’s just say I didn’t know Lindsay was Brazilian.

This week the C.E.O. of Ford Motor Company, Bill Ford, essentially fired himself. You think that’s embarrassing? Today Fox News Bill O’Reilly charged himself with sexual harassment.

Since you asked:

What a great time last night. The Railheads rocked the Del Dios Country Store Bar and Grill. Great venue, it reminds me of places in the hills of Santa Barbara and Santa Maria. Located in the sticks next to Lake Hodges, it has a warm and cozy country feel. A bunch of friends showed up and the band rocked.

Modesty prevents me from saying I tore the lid off the dump with my harp on my Little Walter “Juke” based scorching blues jam. If there is anything better than playing harmonica in a good band at a nice dive on a Friday night with your friends laughing and dancing, I sure as hell don’t know what it is.