We gonna open up the throttle, yeah, we gonna bust another bottle, yeah, you cain’t say yes and you cain’t say no, just be right there when the whistle blows, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
(Greatest road trip song ever, Rolling Stones “All Down the Line”)
How sore is he?
In the upcoming game against the San Diego Chargers, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb has injuries to his sternum, his leg and a sports hernia. In fact, McNabb is sorer than Paris Hilton after fleet week.
Nice try, weasel
In Oklahoma City, a man convicted to 30 years in prison asked a judge for three more years added to his sentence so that it would match the number of his idol, Larry Bird, #33. In a related story, indicted house majority leader Tom DeLay announced his favorite player was Larry Bird’s teammate, Robert Parish, his number was 00.
She’s just getting warmed up
A survey reveals that the average person has sixteen hours of sex in a lifetime; in a related story, Paris Hilton is now on her fifteenth lifetime.
Or as Paris Hilton calls sixteen hours of sex: the weekend.
A survey reveals that the average person has sixteen hours of sex in a lifetime; which is about the same as one boat ride with the Minnesota Vikings.
Sleeping with the enemy
President Bush has declared war on pornography. To paraphrase cartoonist Al Capp, I have seen the enemy in the war on pornography and it is us.
President Bush has declared war on pornography. What happened to President Bush’s pledge to focus on the nation’s needs? With 10 billion a year spent on pornography, clearly this is one of the nation’s needs.
President Bush has declared war on pornography. This sent shock waves through the porn industry, that is until they thought about how Bush is doing in the war in Iraq, then it was greatly relieved.
President Bush has declared war on pornography. Advisors first suggested that Bush may want to focus on something more practical than a hugely futile war on pornography, so Bush said, “OK let’s get my approval ratings up.” The advisors then said; “Let’s get those filthy smut mongers.”
You had to see this one, um, coming
President Bush has declared war on pornography. This war on porn will be different than Iraq. The War on Porn insurgents won’t blow people up, they’ll just, well, you know . . .
Translation
This week, U2’s Bono met with President Bush at the White House and discussed debt relief, malaria, the impoverished and world trade. Or as that translated inside Bush’s head: banana, banana, banana and banana.
I think I know who it is
Lottery officials say the winner of the $340 million PowerBall hasn’t come forward yet but I think I know who the winner is. Today I told one of our writers to write something about Michael Jackson and he said “Ahh, go screw yourself joke boy.”
(Greatest road trip song ever, Rolling Stones “All Down the Line”)
How sore is he?
In the upcoming game against the San Diego Chargers, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb has injuries to his sternum, his leg and a sports hernia. In fact, McNabb is sorer than Paris Hilton after fleet week.
Nice try, weasel
In Oklahoma City, a man convicted to 30 years in prison asked a judge for three more years added to his sentence so that it would match the number of his idol, Larry Bird, #33. In a related story, indicted house majority leader Tom DeLay announced his favorite player was Larry Bird’s teammate, Robert Parish, his number was 00.
She’s just getting warmed up
A survey reveals that the average person has sixteen hours of sex in a lifetime; in a related story, Paris Hilton is now on her fifteenth lifetime.
Or as Paris Hilton calls sixteen hours of sex: the weekend.
A survey reveals that the average person has sixteen hours of sex in a lifetime; which is about the same as one boat ride with the Minnesota Vikings.
Sleeping with the enemy
President Bush has declared war on pornography. To paraphrase cartoonist Al Capp, I have seen the enemy in the war on pornography and it is us.
President Bush has declared war on pornography. What happened to President Bush’s pledge to focus on the nation’s needs? With 10 billion a year spent on pornography, clearly this is one of the nation’s needs.
President Bush has declared war on pornography. This sent shock waves through the porn industry, that is until they thought about how Bush is doing in the war in Iraq, then it was greatly relieved.
President Bush has declared war on pornography. Advisors first suggested that Bush may want to focus on something more practical than a hugely futile war on pornography, so Bush said, “OK let’s get my approval ratings up.” The advisors then said; “Let’s get those filthy smut mongers.”
You had to see this one, um, coming
President Bush has declared war on pornography. This war on porn will be different than Iraq. The War on Porn insurgents won’t blow people up, they’ll just, well, you know . . .
Translation
This week, U2’s Bono met with President Bush at the White House and discussed debt relief, malaria, the impoverished and world trade. Or as that translated inside Bush’s head: banana, banana, banana and banana.
I think I know who it is
Lottery officials say the winner of the $340 million PowerBall hasn’t come forward yet but I think I know who the winner is. Today I told one of our writers to write something about Michael Jackson and he said “Ahh, go screw yourself joke boy.”
posted by Alex at
10:54 AM
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