Don’t play a playah, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Wrinkle in this product
Mexico has produced an anti-wrinkle moisturizer comprised of human semen. If it’s true that semen prevents wrinkles, Paris Hilton can count on being wrinkle free until the year 2095.
I’d try that Mexican made anti-wrinkle semen moisturizer, but the quality control in Mexico is questionable, I’m afraid they might have put something nasty in it.
New meaning to the term “And they’re off”
George Steinbrenner’s Bellamy Road, the Kentucky Derby favorite who faded, has a leg injury and will miss the rest of the Triple Crown races. The trainer’s term for the non-serious injury is that Bellamy “popped a splint.” And here I didn’t think horses should be on Viagra.
Do a little dance, make a little fall, get down tonight
Earlier this week, the lead singer of KC and the Sunshine band sprained knee and cut himself after he fell on stage while dancing. He would have just had a sprained knee but apparently his walker landed on his face.
When asked if he was humiliated by the fall, KC replied;
“Yes, I was humiliated, but that’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it.”
Does Hallmark have a card for this?
In Brazil this week, a town celebrated orgasm day. Unfortunately, the next day many of the men also celebrated “I swear, this has never happened before” day.
Unfortunately, the next day, many women celebrated “Why hasn’t he called me?” day.
Or as Pat O’Brien calls orgasm day: Today.
Oh, let’s hope not
Lance Armstrong is set to win his seventh straight Tour de France. Unless, of course, the unthinkable happens: Lance is bought by George Steinbrenner.
Not a good start
Macually Culkin is going to testify at the Michael Jackson trial. I’m not sure if Macually is going to be a credible witness. For starters, he still lists his occupation as actor.
A Rolling Stone gathers no moss, just a lot of money
The Rolling Stones announced a new world tour. I think this tour is called the; “We Don’t Have Everyone’s Money Quite Yet” tour.
For the newly announced tour, regular tickets – not scalped or through a ticket broker – regular tickets for the Rolling Stones are as high as $500. They are so expensive the only people who can afford them are the Rolling Stones.
Yuck and more yuck
Have you seen the world’s most disgusting commercial for the toe fungus drug Lamisil? It has nasty little yellow cartoon creatures as fungus underneath a big ugly jagged toe nail. I don’t know what advertising team created it but we can only hope that they are never hired by Preparation H.
Washington scoot
The White House and Congress had to be evacuated due to an errant plane scare. It was a pretty scary scene. It was so chaotic that Vice President Dick Cheney had to postpone is after lunch heart attack.
Wrinkle in this product
Mexico has produced an anti-wrinkle moisturizer comprised of human semen. If it’s true that semen prevents wrinkles, Paris Hilton can count on being wrinkle free until the year 2095.
I’d try that Mexican made anti-wrinkle semen moisturizer, but the quality control in Mexico is questionable, I’m afraid they might have put something nasty in it.
New meaning to the term “And they’re off”
George Steinbrenner’s Bellamy Road, the Kentucky Derby favorite who faded, has a leg injury and will miss the rest of the Triple Crown races. The trainer’s term for the non-serious injury is that Bellamy “popped a splint.” And here I didn’t think horses should be on Viagra.
Do a little dance, make a little fall, get down tonight
Earlier this week, the lead singer of KC and the Sunshine band sprained knee and cut himself after he fell on stage while dancing. He would have just had a sprained knee but apparently his walker landed on his face.
When asked if he was humiliated by the fall, KC replied;
“Yes, I was humiliated, but that’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it.”
Does Hallmark have a card for this?
In Brazil this week, a town celebrated orgasm day. Unfortunately, the next day many of the men also celebrated “I swear, this has never happened before” day.
Unfortunately, the next day, many women celebrated “Why hasn’t he called me?” day.
Or as Pat O’Brien calls orgasm day: Today.
Oh, let’s hope not
Lance Armstrong is set to win his seventh straight Tour de France. Unless, of course, the unthinkable happens: Lance is bought by George Steinbrenner.
Not a good start
Macually Culkin is going to testify at the Michael Jackson trial. I’m not sure if Macually is going to be a credible witness. For starters, he still lists his occupation as actor.
A Rolling Stone gathers no moss, just a lot of money
The Rolling Stones announced a new world tour. I think this tour is called the; “We Don’t Have Everyone’s Money Quite Yet” tour.
For the newly announced tour, regular tickets – not scalped or through a ticket broker – regular tickets for the Rolling Stones are as high as $500. They are so expensive the only people who can afford them are the Rolling Stones.
Yuck and more yuck
Have you seen the world’s most disgusting commercial for the toe fungus drug Lamisil? It has nasty little yellow cartoon creatures as fungus underneath a big ugly jagged toe nail. I don’t know what advertising team created it but we can only hope that they are never hired by Preparation H.
Washington scoot
The White House and Congress had to be evacuated due to an errant plane scare. It was a pretty scary scene. It was so chaotic that Vice President Dick Cheney had to postpone is after lunch heart attack.
posted by Alex at
9:23 AM
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