Somebody what done up and pimped our Christmas tree, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
The Donald
The Holiday Cards are flowing in now. I got a weird card from Donald Trump. It said, “Happy Holidays. You’re fired.”
That's a lot
I still have a ton of holiday shopping to do. My to-do list is longer the Scott Peterson’s prison dance card.
I don't get it
Asked to comment about his Christmas match-up against Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal said: “When a Corvette hits a brick wall, you know what happens.” Yeah, Shaq, usually Billy Joel climbs out, but what does that have to do with anything?
A little bit slow
Outside of the problems in Iraq, this Holiday time is a sort of a slow news time. To give you an idea how slow, the press is closely following Elton John’s latest spat with his pedicurist.
Like a candle in the wind
According to polls, support for the war in Iraq is eroding. In fact, support for the Iraq war is shrinking faster then Elton John’s Christmas card list.
Not positive
The sixth Harry Potter book is out. I think this one is called: “Harry Potter: One More Book and I’ll Have Everyone’s Money.”
Hummer bummer
The latest Hummer commercials feature the disclaimer: “Off-road responsibly.” Is that necessary? There have only been two occasions when Hummers have ever been off-road: In the commercials and on the field of a Polo match.
There are trains that spend more time off-road then the average Hummer.
Who knew?
The KIA Spectra, received the worst rating in US insurance crash tests. In Kia’s home country of Korea, do you know what the word Spectra means? Billy Joel.
Aging
The New Orleans Hornets are 2- 21. Hornets head coach Byron Scott is aging faster than if he just did a round of dioxin Jello shooters.
Three levels
You have to be careful not to over-do it at parties this time of year. There are three levels of Holiday office party hangovers from bad to worse: Level One: Why did I say that to my boss?” Level Two: “Who made this photocopy of my butt?” and the worst, Level Three: “Look at my face, who the hell put dioxin in my Egg Nog?”
Two questions
I have two questions following last night’s Monday Night Football: how does the best team in the NFL, the New England Patriots, lose to probably the worst team, the Miami Dolphins? And why did the Dolphins play in highway-worker-Orange jerseys that made every kick off look like a prison riot?
The Donald
The Holiday Cards are flowing in now. I got a weird card from Donald Trump. It said, “Happy Holidays. You’re fired.”
That's a lot
I still have a ton of holiday shopping to do. My to-do list is longer the Scott Peterson’s prison dance card.
I don't get it
Asked to comment about his Christmas match-up against Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal said: “When a Corvette hits a brick wall, you know what happens.” Yeah, Shaq, usually Billy Joel climbs out, but what does that have to do with anything?
A little bit slow
Outside of the problems in Iraq, this Holiday time is a sort of a slow news time. To give you an idea how slow, the press is closely following Elton John’s latest spat with his pedicurist.
Like a candle in the wind
According to polls, support for the war in Iraq is eroding. In fact, support for the Iraq war is shrinking faster then Elton John’s Christmas card list.
Not positive
The sixth Harry Potter book is out. I think this one is called: “Harry Potter: One More Book and I’ll Have Everyone’s Money.”
Hummer bummer
The latest Hummer commercials feature the disclaimer: “Off-road responsibly.” Is that necessary? There have only been two occasions when Hummers have ever been off-road: In the commercials and on the field of a Polo match.
There are trains that spend more time off-road then the average Hummer.
Who knew?
The KIA Spectra, received the worst rating in US insurance crash tests. In Kia’s home country of Korea, do you know what the word Spectra means? Billy Joel.
Aging
The New Orleans Hornets are 2- 21. Hornets head coach Byron Scott is aging faster than if he just did a round of dioxin Jello shooters.
Three levels
You have to be careful not to over-do it at parties this time of year. There are three levels of Holiday office party hangovers from bad to worse: Level One: Why did I say that to my boss?” Level Two: “Who made this photocopy of my butt?” and the worst, Level Three: “Look at my face, who the hell put dioxin in my Egg Nog?”
Two questions
I have two questions following last night’s Monday Night Football: how does the best team in the NFL, the New England Patriots, lose to probably the worst team, the Miami Dolphins? And why did the Dolphins play in highway-worker-Orange jerseys that made every kick off look like a prison riot?
posted by Alex at
1:34 PM
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