Santa pimped his sleigh, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Much better
Good news for poisoned Ukrainian candidate Viktor Yushchenko; he looks much better since the dioxin poisoning. He’s gone from looking like Marge Schott to Andy Rooney, so that’s good.

I, uh, I did not know that . . .
Everyone’s excited about the big Kobe Bryant Shaquille O’Neal match up on Christmas. Everyone thinks Kobe’s name comes from Kobe, Japan. Since his trial, I don’t think so; I think Kobe is an acronym for the sign he hangs on his hotel room door: Knock Often Before Entering.


Since you asked:
Christmas is a wonderful time as a parent. Six-year-old Ann Caroline has not been separated from her Santa hat for three days. (Picture Cindy Lou Who with a Santa hat) You walk into the living room and there she is, quietly gazing at the Christmas tree. She is the epitome of the Christmas spirit.

But the best part of being a parent around Christmas? You can legally lie to your kid for the purpose of bribing good behavior from them. Yesterday I told Ann Caroline of the tragic tale of the child that was good for 364 days but was bad on Christmas Eve. The result? No presents. Shameless, isn’t it? There should be some sort of law against this, shouldn’t there?