This just in:
After the election, there is debate over what dictates a mandate. Republicans think Bush has a mandate, democrats don’t think he has a mandate, and New Jersey Gov Jim McGreevy thinks a mandate is when the guy buys him dinner.

We feelin' it and healin' it right up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Shocking
Did you hear about the latest embarrassing celebrity incident? Ashlee Simpson tried to flash her breast, but Tara Reid’s popped out instead.

Celebrities deeping us abreast
At P. Diddy’s birthday bash in New York, Tara Reid accidentally flashed her left breast to the crowd. Today, Tara Reid was invited to both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Clinton’s birthday parties.

Forget P. Diddy’s “Vote or Die” vote campaign, Tara should have launched a vote campaign called “Flash and Dash.”

Upon hearing of this, Paris Hilton said she thought it was a cheesy, tawdry, pathetic way to get publicity and she is furious she didn’t think of it first.

And here I didn’t even know Tara Reid was related to Janet Jackson.

Who knew?
Boston First baseman Kevin Millar said the Red Sox took shots of Jack Daniels whisky before the playoffs and World Series games. And here I just thought it was the New York Yankee pitchers that got hammered.

Smrt
The Chicago Bears upset the New York Giants behind rookie quarterback Greg Krenzel. Krenzel’s major at Ohio State was Molecular genetics. That’s when I know somebody is smart, when they majored in something that I can’t spell.

Moving on up
Paris Hilton was recently seen dating tennis player Mark Phillapousis, formerly ranked 10th, is now down to 106th. But she was soon seen with Andy Roddick, who is ranked 2nd. Apparently Paris decided to raise the ranking of her skanking.

And here thought pro tennis players didn’t even like to share locker rooms.

So I guess, for tennis players, we have the French Open and now, the, well, open Paris.