It’s a thang thing, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

That explains it
Sec. Of State Colin Powell resigned. President Bush accepted Powell’s resignation because, like Bush found out Attorney General John Ashcroft wasn’t a real general, Bush discovered that, although a real general, Powell was neither a secretary nor a state.

Shiver your timber
Man, it was a little chilly last night. I was shaking like Liza Minelli’s bodyguard when she asked him to tuck her into bed.

Liza Minelli’s bodyguard is suing her for forcing him to have sex and allegedly beating him. This guy better hope he wins because he ain’t gonna work as a tough, bodyguard after he claims that Liza Minelli gave him a beat-down and had her way with him.

At Bodyguard boot camp they apparently don't teach drunk diva defense techniques.

What are the odds
Scott Peterson was convicted of murder in a shocking verdict. It wasn’t shocking because he was convicted, it was shocking because a California jury finally got a verdict right.

Who knows?
There are many questions that remain following Yasser Arafat’s burial. Who will lead Palestine? Will there be more unrest? How did Arafat constantly maintain a six-day beard stubble? Will the restaurant get the tablecloth back that Arafat wore on his head?

Mourners in Palestine marked Yasser Arafat’s passing. For the entire week, the rocks Palestinian youths threw at Israeli tanks were painted black.

You hate to see that
There was an embarrassing scene at the cremation of Yassar Arafat. No sooner than the cremator lit the fire, a Palestinian youth picked up the burning corpse and threw it an Israeli tank.

Spice Wreck
This week in Amsterdam, a man was convicted of harassing a Spice Girl, Melanie C. Yeah, apparently in Amsterdam, it is considered harassment to shout; “No, for the last time, I do not want an autograph.”

It was a little ugly, Melanie C had to wrestle him down and twist his arm until he shouted; “OK, I give, Sporty is my favorite Spice Girl, not Posh.”

Reverse Sexism
If you watch commercials for football games, you could deduce that all men go moronically berserk over beer, entertainment gadgets and hot-looking women. At best it’s reverse sexism, at worst it is demeaning, degrading and . . . whoa, get outta my way, I gotta TiVo those Coors twins.


Since you asked:
Sorry about the lack of material lately, Slats and Nugs. (Now you’re sorry? It’s been weak since the get-go) Oh, be quiet. (No, you be quiet) See that? I am arguing with my own diatribe.

Anyway, I have been slaving away on my board game project. Well, slaving might be a bit much . . .