We gonna throw down the jam this right here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Who would have thought?
*Have you seen the “Sports Illustrated” cover with Maria Sharpova? In all of my wildest dreams, I never thought I could be horribly envious of a damn tennis ball.

Love is a many pandered thing
*Have you seen how happy John Kerry and John Edwards look together? They look like an ad in support of gay marriage.

John Kerry and John Edwards have already hugged each other more than Bush and Cheney have ever hugged anyone in their entire lives.

John Kerry and John Edwards seem to be hugging each other a lot. Actually Bush and Cheney are pretty affectionate if you include all those times Bush had to perform C.P.R. on Cheney.

Have noticed how much John Kerry and John Edwards hug each other? Bill Clinton was a big hugger as well. Republicans only hug when they patting someone down to take their wallet.

Bill Clinton loved to hug so much that he once hugged Monica so hard, both of his hands actually touched.

In case they forgot
*Homeland security secretary Tom Ridge said terrorists want to disrupt our presidential election. Apparently the terrorist didn’t follow the last presidential election, it got pretty screwed up all on its own.

If terrorists really want to mess up our presidential election all they have to do is not interfere with the voters of Florida.


Since you asked:
Hollywood celebrities are trying really hard to rally behind John Kerry - like they did enthusiastically with Bill Clinton - but it seems to me their hearts aren’t really into it. It’s a lot like turning on “The Three Stooges” and seeing it’s an episode featuring Shemp; after your heart sinks with disappointment, you try to pretend it’s just as good, but you can’t kid yourself, the guy just isn’t Curly and that’s all there is to it.