Let’s rub some jokes on it to make it better, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


We can’t read the whole name Los Angeles, it takes too long, so it’s L.A.
*As hard as it is to believe, Bill Clinton’s massive 957-page book is even selling well in Los Angeles. But here in L.A. we don’t actually read the book, we use it to reserve a parking space.

We don’t actually read the book, we put a hat on it to drive in the carpool lane.

It’s is surprising Clinton’s book “My Life” is selling so well in Los Angeles, a city not known for having avid readers. In fact, the Los Angeles city motto is: Hooked on Phonics.

In Los Angeles they are marketing Bill Clinton’s book Hollywood pitch-style: “Yeah, it’s a sort of “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” meets “Deep Throat.”

Beat it to it
*The producers of “White Chicks” are being sued for by a man who says the story was his idea. Is that true? I mean didn’t the idea of turning a black man into a white woman start with Michael Jackson?

Curses
*I’m looking forward to the debates between John Edwards and Dick Cheney. It will be like an old “Batman” that pits the Riddler versus the Penguin.

That would explain it
*They say the latest craze in the Ukraine is to eat chocolate covered pork fat. Keep in mind, the craze right before that is to get really, really drunk.

Even the people at McDonalds think that chocolate covered in pork fat is disgusting. Disgusting that they didn’t think of it first. Introducing new McClogged-arteries.

Now if Pizza Hut can just figure out how to get chocolate covered pork fat into their crust, we’d really have something.

And now, kids . . .
*John Kerry did not get a lift against Bush after picking John Edwards, according to the Zogby poll. What is the Zogby poll, a poll of children’s cartoon characters? “Why hello there Mister Zogby, guess who I’m voting for?”

Misunderstanding
There are political experts who feel that, due to the war and the election, our country is becoming increasingly polarized. Asked to comment about our country becoming polarized, President Bush said;

“Polarized? I thought everyone used them fancy digital cameras.”