We gettin' our Summer on up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Uh, Ed, uh, how, uh, how hot is it?
*Man, it's hot. I'm sweatin' like Billy Joel is my designated driver.

I'm sweatin' like John Kerry riding a bike.

I'm sweatin' like an Iraqi prisoners when the guards play the song; "You can leave your hat on."

That too
*Bill Clinton is really pressing to finish his book. He's been up late cramming. And he's writing a lot, also.

Charge that woman
*A New Zealand woman was accidentally served a live frog in her salad on her Qantas flight between Australia and New Zealand. In the U.S. they would have charged her extra for flying with a pet.

Are they nuts?
*Did you hear Supreme Court justice David Souter was mugged while jogging last weekend? He's OK. What thugs in their right mind would mug a big tough guy like David Souter?

Police have issued an A.P.B. for two surly girl scouts.

That explains it
*Senator John Kerry is reportedly okay after falling off his bicycle yesterday. Bicycles and Kerry are not a good fit. Just like with issues, on the bike, one second Kerry's leaning to the left, then he switches over to the right. No wonder he fell off.

Whole lot of shaking goin' on
*Last night was the big finale of "10.5”. Or as they call it in Hollywood: "Your acting career is officially over."

Coincidentally, about 10.5 people watched it.

I like that in "10.5" scene where it's shaking so hard it actually shook people into a theater showing; "Scooby Doo 2."

One bad radio move and they get all over your case
*A man in Henderson, Texas was arrested after he set up a bubble bath for his wife, complete with candles and music, then tried to electrocute her by pushing a radio into the tub. There are single women saying; "Oh, that's so sweet. So he made one appliance miscue. I'd over look that."

It's working
*In New York City, cab fares are up 25%. So, I guess we really did cut off terrorist funding.

Scoop
Forget the war in Iraq, forget terrorism, the campaign, here is the big story: Fox News reports that Brad Pitt quit smoking for the movie "Troy" but now he says he's smoking again. I guess we know who is going to win the Pulitzer for investigative journalism.

In shape
*Anna Nicole Smith has lost sixty pounds and looks great. See, now that all the 90-year-old billionaires have died off, Anna has to get in shape to run-down those fiesty 80-year-old billionaires.

Since you asked:
(Hang in there. Yet another A.C. saga)

Ann Caroline was talking about a Kindergarten classmate whose dog died (This whacky kid has a dog die every time she wants attention. Either that or they are running a Korean deli out of their house )

Anyway, My wife, Virginia, said; "I'm so sorry Annika lost her dog."

Ann Caroline said; "She didn't lose it. It's dead."

Badaboom.

Reminds me of the story about the Mom consoling the child about the death of their neighbor's dog by saying:

"Sparky is with god now."

The three year-old-girl says:

"What's god going to do with a dead dog?"

(Polite applause)