My mizzy all up in the hizzy for shizzy my nizzy Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
(Don't even ask me. I got no idea what that means)
Popcorn please, hold the butter
*"The National Enquirer" reports Monica Lewinsky wants to get 5 to 10 million dollars for the movie rights to her relationship to Bill Clinton. I don't know what they are going to call the movie about Monica and Bill. "Splash" is already taken.
I think the movie's called "Drill Bill."
(Or "Swill Bill")
A bigger cast
*Monica Lewinsky says she wants Mandy Moore to play her in the movie about her life. Really? Mandy would have to pull a DeNiro in "Raging Bull" and become Mandy "A Lot" Moore.
Who would play Bill Clinton? Well, the porn business is on hold, how about we put a white wig on Ron Jeremy?
Whaddyagonnado?
*Two guys were arrested in Central Park after having sex in a tree in front of a crowd of hundreds. Why was there a crowd of hundreds watching? Well, it was either that or watch the Mets game, so they didn't really have much choice.
No truth
*In sports news, Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick called a radio station to deny the rumor that he’s gay. Vick said there is no truth to the rumor that he was caught in Central Park in a tree with Mike Piazza.
The rumors all started when Vick was seen at a Pottery Barn with Mike Piazza.
In addition
*Did you hear about the German Shepard in England that had 28 golf balls removed from its stomach? Upon hearing that, Michael Vick called a radio station to deny that he has ever swallowed any balls.
We're so sorry, Uncle al Bert
*Iraqi's are reportedly furious about the Iraqi prisoners who were pictured naked and humiliated. Gosh, sorry, that wasn't very nice. Of course it is a bit nicer than sabotaging them and blowing them up with a frickin' car bomb.
When isn't the Arab world furious at us? They're always furious at us, at least this way we get a good laugh at the goofy-looking guys with bags on their heads.
Or as we refer to that
The show "Friends" is winding down. You know what else, besides the show "Friends," you call six adults who can't make any new friends in ten years? A law firm.
That's a shame
The search engine Google offered it's stock today. The president had an embarrassing moment; when asked what he thought about Google going public, Bush said;
"I thought public google was only legal in Las Vegas?"
(Don't even ask me. I got no idea what that means)
Popcorn please, hold the butter
*"The National Enquirer" reports Monica Lewinsky wants to get 5 to 10 million dollars for the movie rights to her relationship to Bill Clinton. I don't know what they are going to call the movie about Monica and Bill. "Splash" is already taken.
I think the movie's called "Drill Bill."
(Or "Swill Bill")
A bigger cast
*Monica Lewinsky says she wants Mandy Moore to play her in the movie about her life. Really? Mandy would have to pull a DeNiro in "Raging Bull" and become Mandy "A Lot" Moore.
Who would play Bill Clinton? Well, the porn business is on hold, how about we put a white wig on Ron Jeremy?
Whaddyagonnado?
*Two guys were arrested in Central Park after having sex in a tree in front of a crowd of hundreds. Why was there a crowd of hundreds watching? Well, it was either that or watch the Mets game, so they didn't really have much choice.
No truth
*In sports news, Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick called a radio station to deny the rumor that he’s gay. Vick said there is no truth to the rumor that he was caught in Central Park in a tree with Mike Piazza.
The rumors all started when Vick was seen at a Pottery Barn with Mike Piazza.
In addition
*Did you hear about the German Shepard in England that had 28 golf balls removed from its stomach? Upon hearing that, Michael Vick called a radio station to deny that he has ever swallowed any balls.
We're so sorry, Uncle al Bert
*Iraqi's are reportedly furious about the Iraqi prisoners who were pictured naked and humiliated. Gosh, sorry, that wasn't very nice. Of course it is a bit nicer than sabotaging them and blowing them up with a frickin' car bomb.
When isn't the Arab world furious at us? They're always furious at us, at least this way we get a good laugh at the goofy-looking guys with bags on their heads.
Or as we refer to that
The show "Friends" is winding down. You know what else, besides the show "Friends," you call six adults who can't make any new friends in ten years? A law firm.
That's a shame
The search engine Google offered it's stock today. The president had an embarrassing moment; when asked what he thought about Google going public, Bush said;
"I thought public google was only legal in Las Vegas?"
posted by Alex at
5:15 PM
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