You are my Sizzle and Brizzle, and don't you forgizzle, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Viva Las Vegas
*Some people don't know this, but you know what Las Vegas means? It's an old Spanish word that, roughly translated, means: "The watch for a ride to the airport."

Actually, Las Vegas is an old Spanish expression for; "Before I pay, are you sure you're not a cop?"

No chance
*Brad Pitt predicted that, due to the popularity of "Troy," men will be wearing skirts by next summer. I can tell you why men in skirts is not a good idea in two words: John Goodman

That long?
*After 20 years, no more Frasier Crane after Thursday. To give you an idea how long that is, 20 years is actually as long as the ten years seemed that "Friends" was around.

*Now that "Friends" is over the dirt is coming out. After all the "We were a family" talk, it seems that some of the cast members weren't always so nice to the crew. The gossip is the "Friends" crew called David Schwimmer's trailer; "The Whine Cellar."

Now that the big F's "Friends" and "Frasier" are gone, I saw NBC entertainment president Kevin Rielly on a Hollywood off-ramp holding a sign that said; "Will Work for an F-ing sitcom."

Now that "Friends" and "Frasier" are both gone, do know what that makes Jay Leno? Extremely sucked-up to. As we speak, NBC president Jeff Zucker is waxing his car.

Not to tell tales out of the bathroom
*Chicago Cubs outfielder Moises Alou disclosed that he urinates on his hands to toughen his skin.

Not to rat on my brother man, but if urine made your skin tougher, all guys that take showers would have bullet-proof feet.

Guys in the club house are calling him Moistest Alou.

Moises Alou's number is 18. I think they should change it to 8. That way fans could yell; "Hey Moises, you're an eight."

Nice try
*A Louisville, KY winery is developing a low-carb wine. The bad news? The wine goes great with pasta.

Now that's a DUI
*Glen Cambell was sentenced to 10 days in jail for "an extreme D.U.I." What is an extreme D.U.I.? Is that when you have the accelerator jammed to the floor with a whisky bottle?