You all kinds of fine right now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Putting the wreck in Ramblin' wrecks
*In-a-not-as-close-as-the-final-score, U.Conn crushed Georgia Tech 82-73. How bad was it? Even Richard Simmons thought U.Conn bitch-slapped Georgia Tech.

Georgie Tech learned a valuable lesson: Don't drink the champagne until after the game.

It got ugly in the second half. How ugly? Tom Arnold of "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" thought it was ugly, and he was married to Roseanne.

I might be wrong on this one
*Volvo says has a new car out that is designed for women. I think it's called the Vulva.

Well, so much for that rumor . . .
*The Internet rumor is that Jessica Simpson is functionally illiterate. Jessica denied she is illiterate. She said she never, ever, litters.

Jessica denied that she is illiterate claiming her parents were married when she was born.

Oh the horror
*American Idol reject William Hung's off-key, off-rhythm album "Inspriation" hits the stores this weekend. In case you missed him, William Hung looks and sounds like the unholy result of if Yoko Ono and Roger Ebert mated.

How bad is Hung? Even Britney Spears thinks William Hung can't sing.

The reviews are in on William Hung's album "Inspiration." Yoko Ono gives it three screeches.

Saw this one coming
*The founder of the answering machine passed away at 92. Please leave your condolences after the beep.

It's official
*In addition to being the first to fly a hot air balloon around the world, Chicagoan Steve Fossett set the record for sailing around the world. This officially makes Fossett the most successful really bored rich guy.

If you can't have fun with a word like Shiite, you ain't trying
*Fighting continued in Baghdad between coalition forces and the protesting Shiite Muslims. It's not going well for the insurgents, as of now, the coalition forces are kicking the Shiite out of them.