Let's play ball, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Get back in the game?
*Have you seen those Levitra commercials during sports broadcasts? A friend of mine said he tried Levitra and it really works: Yeah, he can now throw a football through a moving tire at thirty yards. It's amazing.
Those Levitra -football -through-the tire commercials crack me up. Why don't they quit horsing around and just show a pole vaulter?
Like father like daughter
*Ozzie's daughter, Kelley Osbourne, has checked into a drug rehab center for an addiction to pain pills. Asked to comment, Ozzie said, "I am so proud, but I can't take all the credit, Sharon also helped raise her right."
Kelley Osbourne is on the celebrity fast track: Brief, undeserved fame, a short-lived singing career and now rehab. At this rate, Kelley will make the "People" magazine "Where are they now?" issue by next year.
They reportedly found a baggie in Kelley's room with over 500 pills. Even Rush Limbaugh was impressed.
My prediction? In six months, Kelley Osbourne will face Tonya Harding in celebrity boxing.
Well, Shiite howdy
*US tanks deployed in Baghdad as Shiite Muslim radicals took to the streets across Iraq. Asked to comment on the uprising of the Shiite Muslims, President Bush said; "We shouldn't resort to name calling, but they are kind of full of Shiite."
Or as President Bush calls the Shiite Muslims, them Shiite-head Muslims.
T, I, double G, errr
*A Walt Disney World employee dressed as the character Tigger was arrested Friday on charges of molesting a minor and committing battery against her mother while the three posed for a photo. Disney authorities were first suspicious when the man applied to be the eighth dwarf, Gropey.
Couldn't finish it for some reason
*A study reports the more television toddlers watch, the more likely they are to have trouble paying attention and concentrating. Or something like that, I couldn't follow the whole article, I watched a lot of TV as a kid.
No nodding off
*Did you see the CNN clip of the kid nodding off during President Bush's speech? The White House has taken steps to correct this. Now, anyone who falls asleep during a Bush speech gets bitch-slapped by Richard Simmons.
Practicing safe riding
*Paris Hilton was thrown off a horse. The horse was worried because it wasn't wearing a condom.
You wanna Mecca me?
*To give you an idea how bad gas prices are, in New York, many cab drivers will only drive east in the direction of Mecca.
Take two
Martha Stewart is asking for a new trial. She thinks it's like her cooking show. She wants to redo it because they over-cooked her goose.
Since you asked;
Man, as a sports fan, am I glad Feb/March is over. Until the NCAA begins, it is the sports fan equivalent of crawling across a scorching desert. Out of the torturous void, suddenly, there is Cubs baseball, the NCAA final, and the Masters. It's as if Carmen Electra seductively beckons you to the air conditioned tent with a frosty margarita in her hand.
Get back in the game?
*Have you seen those Levitra commercials during sports broadcasts? A friend of mine said he tried Levitra and it really works: Yeah, he can now throw a football through a moving tire at thirty yards. It's amazing.
Those Levitra -football -through-the tire commercials crack me up. Why don't they quit horsing around and just show a pole vaulter?
Like father like daughter
*Ozzie's daughter, Kelley Osbourne, has checked into a drug rehab center for an addiction to pain pills. Asked to comment, Ozzie said, "I am so proud, but I can't take all the credit, Sharon also helped raise her right."
Kelley Osbourne is on the celebrity fast track: Brief, undeserved fame, a short-lived singing career and now rehab. At this rate, Kelley will make the "People" magazine "Where are they now?" issue by next year.
They reportedly found a baggie in Kelley's room with over 500 pills. Even Rush Limbaugh was impressed.
My prediction? In six months, Kelley Osbourne will face Tonya Harding in celebrity boxing.
Well, Shiite howdy
*US tanks deployed in Baghdad as Shiite Muslim radicals took to the streets across Iraq. Asked to comment on the uprising of the Shiite Muslims, President Bush said; "We shouldn't resort to name calling, but they are kind of full of Shiite."
Or as President Bush calls the Shiite Muslims, them Shiite-head Muslims.
T, I, double G, errr
*A Walt Disney World employee dressed as the character Tigger was arrested Friday on charges of molesting a minor and committing battery against her mother while the three posed for a photo. Disney authorities were first suspicious when the man applied to be the eighth dwarf, Gropey.
Couldn't finish it for some reason
*A study reports the more television toddlers watch, the more likely they are to have trouble paying attention and concentrating. Or something like that, I couldn't follow the whole article, I watched a lot of TV as a kid.
No nodding off
*Did you see the CNN clip of the kid nodding off during President Bush's speech? The White House has taken steps to correct this. Now, anyone who falls asleep during a Bush speech gets bitch-slapped by Richard Simmons.
Practicing safe riding
*Paris Hilton was thrown off a horse. The horse was worried because it wasn't wearing a condom.
You wanna Mecca me?
*To give you an idea how bad gas prices are, in New York, many cab drivers will only drive east in the direction of Mecca.
Take two
Martha Stewart is asking for a new trial. She thinks it's like her cooking show. She wants to redo it because they over-cooked her goose.
Since you asked;
Man, as a sports fan, am I glad Feb/March is over. Until the NCAA begins, it is the sports fan equivalent of crawling across a scorching desert. Out of the torturous void, suddenly, there is Cubs baseball, the NCAA final, and the Masters. It's as if Carmen Electra seductively beckons you to the air conditioned tent with a frosty margarita in her hand.
posted by Alex at
1:28 PM
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