Hey batter, batter, batter, hey, batter, batter, uh, schwing, batttuh, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


(You can say what you want about these jokes, but you have to admit, they are low in carbs)



Well at least she gave it a fair shot
*Whitney Houston left rehab after only five days. Although Whitney enjoyed the clinic and the staff, she found that rehab was just too difficult a place to do a lot of drugs.



*Whitney Houston has checked out of a rehab clinic after only five days of treatment. That's like "American Idol's" Reuben Studdard trying to lose weight by doing a single jumping jack.



Appropriate locale
*Madonna is going back on tour with the "Re-Invention Tour." Britney Spears is also on tour. Hey, maybe Madonna and Britney can hook up on the road, in say, French Lick, Indiana?





Now that is disgusting
*The average movie now costs over $100 million to make. You think that's disgusting? Think of $100 million a movie and then say the word "Gigli."





With liberty and Halliburton for all
*The Supreme Court signaled they don't have concerns with the words under god in the pledge of allegiance. Although Justice Scalia did suggest they could change it to under Dick Cheney.