Time to get our joke on, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Erin go smokeless
Ireland has banned smoking in their pubs. No smoking in Irish pubs. The Irish felt the cigarettes were having an adverse effect on the overall quality of the drunken brawls.

Final four
Of the teams in the NCAA final four, Duke provokes the most emotion. Hoop fans either love or hate Duke. Duke detractors see the exclusive school as pompous and smug. When asked to comment; a Duke student replied; "I shan't dignify that falderal with my ever brilliant wit."


Of the teams in the final four, many consider the University of Connecticut the toughest. Well, of course they're the toughest, they're from Connecticut, any team that can withstand that many insurance salesmen has to be tough.



Saw this one coming all the way down the lane
In New York a man was charged with trying to kill two policeman with a bowling ball. It's part of the three strikes and you're out law.

The man is going to throw himself on the mercy of the court to spare him.


Line please
Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz have broken up. Now that they are both available, Tom and Penelope are using the exact same lame pick-up line: "Hi there, wanna go on a cruise?"


Trump rhymes with hump
Donald Trump has a book out "How to Get Rich." You want to get rich? For one thing, don't waste money on worthless books written by egomaniacs with freaky hair.

You know what my main problem is with "The Apprentice?" That annoying little hand gesture Trump uses when he cans a contestant. You have to know Trump practices that over and over in the mirror when they are re-wrapping his combover.

When I look at Trump's combover, it reminds me of one of those maze puzzles; You can see where it starts, you just can't figure out where it ends.


Have you heard about Donald Trump's new book "How to Get Rich?" One of the tips is: Ask Paris Hilton to break a twenty into five fives. Repeat one million times.