How we gonna do how we do up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

The sign of the beast
*Barry Bonds hit his 666th home run. It was a little scary, as soon as he hit number 666, Bonds' bat went up in flames.

I'm not positive, but I could swear that when Bonds hit #666, I could see Bonds head spin completely around.

After he hit his 666th home run, instead of sunflower seeds, I could swear Bonds was spitting out pea soup.

Beverage of choice
*Starbucks is teaming up with the makers of Jim Beam whiskey to introduce a whiskey-flavored coffee. Whisky-flavored coffee is a good idea if you want your boss to think you're drunk instead of just plain stupid.

Well slap me silly
* "In Touch” magazine is reporting that Omarosa has designed a line of woman’s business suits. I think the line is called: Psycho Bitch-wear.

In a porn store near you
*Due to the health scare in the California porn industry, male porn actors may be required to wear condoms. Look for the upcoming film; "Willy Wears a Raincoat," "Full Rubber Jacket" and "Mister Happy Has a Hat."

Due to the health scare in the California porn industry, the government of California may regulate the porn business. Imagine that? Movies every bit as sexy as a trip to the D.M.V.

That might actually work. If there is one thing California legislators know how to do it's screw people.