We gonna rub some funk on it and throw down the jam, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
McEww
Do you know what's coming next month? The seventeen year cicadas. In a related story, McDonald's will unveil a new menu item: their new McLocusts.
The Mean Green Obscene
*Phil Mickelson said he wore his Masters green jacket to bed with his beautiful wife, Amy. Apparently Phil doesn't want any more children for a while. Talk about your birth control, yikes.
Phil in bed wearing just the Masters jacket? Wow, I am a huge fan of ol' Lefty, but, eww, I don't need that mental picture, thanks anyway Phil.
Even a guy who just won the Masters and $1.2 million dollars couldn't get lucky wearing that jacket to bed.
Or as the sports world call that jacket: the other green monster.
Or as I like to call the Masters jacket: The Mean Green Obscene.
Listen, Phil is a handsome guy, he has slimmed down and he looks great, but I'm sorry, that jacket with no pants is not a good look. It didn't work for Porky Pig, it won't work for Phil.
*Now that he won the Masters, the press has gone from calling Phil Mickelson "The best player never to win a major" to "the only player with a shot to win this year's Grand Slam." At least the press isn't fickle.
Unclear on the concept
*Britney Spears wants her own reality TV show. I'm not sure Britney really gets the reality TV thing; she said the only thing that worries her is memorizing those long scripts.
Jessica Simpson has a reality show, Britney feels that if Jessica can memorize those long scripts, she can too.
The only question is if Britney gets a reality show, who is going to lip-sync her dialogue?
OK, who did it?
*Attorney General John Ashcroft blamed President Clinton for 9-11. Clinton has blamed Bush. The CIA blamed the FBI, the FBI blamed the CIA. There hasn't been this much finger pointing in Washington since they served cabbage and chili at the Congressional cafeteria.
The sign of the beast
*Barry Bonds has hit 661 home runs, third all time to Ruth and Aaron. Just five more homers and Bonds will be at 666, or as his detractors call 666: Bond's birth number.
McEww
Do you know what's coming next month? The seventeen year cicadas. In a related story, McDonald's will unveil a new menu item: their new McLocusts.
The Mean Green Obscene
*Phil Mickelson said he wore his Masters green jacket to bed with his beautiful wife, Amy. Apparently Phil doesn't want any more children for a while. Talk about your birth control, yikes.
Phil in bed wearing just the Masters jacket? Wow, I am a huge fan of ol' Lefty, but, eww, I don't need that mental picture, thanks anyway Phil.
Even a guy who just won the Masters and $1.2 million dollars couldn't get lucky wearing that jacket to bed.
Or as the sports world call that jacket: the other green monster.
Or as I like to call the Masters jacket: The Mean Green Obscene.
Listen, Phil is a handsome guy, he has slimmed down and he looks great, but I'm sorry, that jacket with no pants is not a good look. It didn't work for Porky Pig, it won't work for Phil.
*Now that he won the Masters, the press has gone from calling Phil Mickelson "The best player never to win a major" to "the only player with a shot to win this year's Grand Slam." At least the press isn't fickle.
Unclear on the concept
*Britney Spears wants her own reality TV show. I'm not sure Britney really gets the reality TV thing; she said the only thing that worries her is memorizing those long scripts.
Jessica Simpson has a reality show, Britney feels that if Jessica can memorize those long scripts, she can too.
The only question is if Britney gets a reality show, who is going to lip-sync her dialogue?
OK, who did it?
*Attorney General John Ashcroft blamed President Clinton for 9-11. Clinton has blamed Bush. The CIA blamed the FBI, the FBI blamed the CIA. There hasn't been this much finger pointing in Washington since they served cabbage and chili at the Congressional cafeteria.
The sign of the beast
*Barry Bonds has hit 661 home runs, third all time to Ruth and Aaron. Just five more homers and Bonds will be at 666, or as his detractors call 666: Bond's birth number.
posted by Alex at
1:23 PM
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