Monday, March 01, 2004

I got the travelin’ jones up on outta my bones for a while, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

(Had a great trip, but it is good to be back)

Thanks to my Daaaaaaaaaad
*The New Zealand-filmed “Lord of the Rings,” won eleven academy awards. Billy Chrystal said; “It’s official, there is no one left in New Zealand to thank.” He was right, one more award and they would have had to start thanking sheep.

Next in line?
“The Lord of the Rings” creator and director Peter Jackson won best picture and best director. Is it just me or does Jackson look less like a movie creator and more like the guy stocking movies at Blockbuster?

No, not really
*During the Academy Awards, host Billy Chrystal thanked the academy for letting him take a couple years off, kind of like the Texas National Guard. After this, Chrystal was awarded an Oscar for “Lord of the Zings.”

*Last year’s rotund documentary winner Michael Moore was not left out; he won an Oscar for “Lord of the Chicken Wings.”

*The 20-week California grocery strike is finally over. It’s a good thing, now everybody in Hollywood who wasn’t in “The Lord of the Rings” can get their bunch of sour grapes.

*Actress Charlize Theron won for best actress. As well she should. Did you hear her acceptance speech? Charlize did a great Mary Tyler Moore crying impression. “Ohhh, Mr. Grant.”

Matchless play
*Tiger Woods beat Davis Love III to win the in the Accenture Match Play Championship. In fact, it was about the only thing “The Lord of the Rings” didn’t win on Sunday.

No, not really part II
Don’t you wish, that just on Sunday, that Tiger could have switched his Nike balls for Pings? Then he could have been Lord of the Pings.

When did this happen?
*The U.S.’s largest radio chain, Clear Channel has booted the “The Howard Stern Show” for indecency. It was necessary because apparently people who don’t like a radio show have inexplicably forgotten how to turn the channel.

Hate to hear that
*Have you seen Mel Gibson’s “Passion of Christ”? There are some surprises. Did you know Jesus’ younger brother James? He betrayed Jesus to get his room.