Saturday, October 18, 2003

They in for a righteous smack-down in this in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Zimmer zammer
New York Yankee coach Don Zimmer told a New York newspaper he will quit the Yankees after this year. So, next season, Pedro Martinez won’t have Don Zimmer to throw around.

The World Series will feature the Florida Marlins versus the New York Yankees. It will be exciting, President Bush is going to throw down the first Zimmer.

Did you see the wild celebration in the New York Yankees clubhouse? Everybody was cheering and hugging and popping and spraying bottles of Dom Perignon while David Wells got on his hands and knees and lapped up every drop of the spilled champagne.

That bad
The Red Sox left in Pedro Martinez one inning too long. The Yankees hit Martinez like a Times Square tourist asking for directions.

Wrong cracker
Not to put too fine a point on it, but hoping for a Cubs/BoSox World Series and getting The Fish/Yankers instead is like expecting a blind date with Heather Graham and getting Grammy Heather instead.

Hey, that’s not nice
I saw the Angelina Jolie movie on HBO, “Life or Something Like it.” It was really good. Angelina plays a 12. That’s a Ten with one week to live.

Jessica Simpson claims she isn’t the dolt that she appears on MTV’s “Newlyweds.” In fact, Jessica said she has a lot of firm convictions, like she would never eat Girl Scout cookies because it’s, like, totally cruel to make a cookie out of a Girl Scout.

Zeig Rush
In Germany, a man who trained his German shepherd, Adolf, to raise a paw in imitation of the Nazi salute won't be prosecuted for doing it. And now they have picked Adolf to replace Rush on the ESPN NFL show.