Oh, it is so on now it is unbelievable, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
What a Rush, Republican Dude
Did you hear about all of the drugs Rush Limbaugh reportedly has been using? Vicodin, Oxytocin and opium derivatives like Lorcet, hydrocodone. Now we know what put the Rush in Rush Limbaugh.
Reality Felony
Plans are under way at MTV to film a reality show in jail about what life is like to the average felon. I think it’s called “The Bobby Brown Show.”
Let’s get this straight
The Chicago Cubs simply must not lose to the Florida Marlins. First of all, Florida is not a city, and a Marlin is not a team. A Marlin is what hangs over the bar where you drink beer and watch a real team.
No surprise here
The Boston Red Sox defeated the Oakland Athletics 4-3 to win the five game series. This just in: California has voted to recall the Red Sox.
Insult to injury
Did you hear about the guy in New York who got mauled by his in-his-apartment tiger? If that wasn’t bad enough, he was also arrested for imitating Seigfried and Roy.
What are the odds?
Isn’t it an amazing coincidence? Just one day before the election and, suddenly, Gray Davis has become a wildly passionate defender of sexually harassed women. How do you suppose that happened?
You snooze, you lose, loser
For those of you who turned off the Tampa Bay blow-out of Indianapolis. Oops. The Colts won 38-35 in an amazingly exciting overtime. And I’m not saying that just because Colts receiver Marvin Harrison scored 28 points for my winning Fantasy Football team. And no, I am not a nerd. Now excuse me, I have to go clean snake and ferret cages or Mommy will kill me.
Word to the wise
Now that Chicago Cubs fans are celebrating over their Cubs advancing in the playoffs, I want to give a little friendly advice. Cubs fans, have a good time, but if you have been drinking and you start to sound like the late great Cubs announcer Harry Carey? It’s time to stop drinking.
Or, if you start to sound like Ozzie Osbourne singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” at Wrigley Field, it’s time to get some professional help.
What a Rush, Republican Dude
Did you hear about all of the drugs Rush Limbaugh reportedly has been using? Vicodin, Oxytocin and opium derivatives like Lorcet, hydrocodone. Now we know what put the Rush in Rush Limbaugh.
Reality Felony
Plans are under way at MTV to film a reality show in jail about what life is like to the average felon. I think it’s called “The Bobby Brown Show.”
Let’s get this straight
The Chicago Cubs simply must not lose to the Florida Marlins. First of all, Florida is not a city, and a Marlin is not a team. A Marlin is what hangs over the bar where you drink beer and watch a real team.
No surprise here
The Boston Red Sox defeated the Oakland Athletics 4-3 to win the five game series. This just in: California has voted to recall the Red Sox.
Insult to injury
Did you hear about the guy in New York who got mauled by his in-his-apartment tiger? If that wasn’t bad enough, he was also arrested for imitating Seigfried and Roy.
What are the odds?
Isn’t it an amazing coincidence? Just one day before the election and, suddenly, Gray Davis has become a wildly passionate defender of sexually harassed women. How do you suppose that happened?
You snooze, you lose, loser
For those of you who turned off the Tampa Bay blow-out of Indianapolis. Oops. The Colts won 38-35 in an amazingly exciting overtime. And I’m not saying that just because Colts receiver Marvin Harrison scored 28 points for my winning Fantasy Football team. And no, I am not a nerd. Now excuse me, I have to go clean snake and ferret cages or Mommy will kill me.
Word to the wise
Now that Chicago Cubs fans are celebrating over their Cubs advancing in the playoffs, I want to give a little friendly advice. Cubs fans, have a good time, but if you have been drinking and you start to sound like the late great Cubs announcer Harry Carey? It’s time to stop drinking.
Or, if you start to sound like Ozzie Osbourne singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” at Wrigley Field, it’s time to get some professional help.
posted by Alex at
11:38 AM
<< Home