Yes, yes, yes, some mo’ yes and hell yes, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Oh Blue? Where are you?
Ben Affleck bought a pickup truck in Georgia. First his wedding gets called off, he got a gun
permit, and now a pickup truck. Ben’s just one lost dog away from being a bad country song.

Good move
OJ Simpson has been invited to coach a football of high-school all-stars in Florida. That’s not a bad idea. OJ may be old, but he can still cut and run with the best of them.

Not a good move
Nicole Kidman and Lenny Kravitz are getting married. I’m not sure this is going to work: Ben Affleck is organizing the bachelor party.

Start screening
President Bush signed the “Do Not Call” bill. And that’s just aimed at Republican recall candidate Tom McClintock. Bush said: “I can’t help you, don’t call anymore.”

Mamma Mia, I’m a mute
Italians are up in arms over their blackout because they can’t communicate. They can’t talk to each other at night because they can’t see their hands.

Neeener, Neener, Ahhhhhnold
Have you seen Gray Davis taunting Arnold to debate him? He reminds me of the schoolyard nerd taunting the bully at the playground while safely tucked behind the teacher’s legs.

Pungent
At the start of the Chicago Bears Green Bay Packer Monday night game, the mood was so festive, the air looked so crisp, I could almost taste the tailgate beer and brats. By the end of the first half, the Bears were stinking the place up as if I had tasted way too much brats and beer.

And now starting for the Taliban
Did you happen to catch some of the names on the Packers? Bhawoh Jue, Chukie Nwokosie, Kaber Gbaja-Biamake. It sounded like they were introducing Camp X-Ray, not Green Bay.

It’s up, and he’s even higher
Congratulations to Sebastian Janikowski for his game-winning 46-yard field goal for the Oakland Raiders. Sebastian celebrated with his traditional 46-yard kick celebration: Colt 44’s plus two shots.