Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Cubs win, Cubs win, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

What are the odds?
In Louisiana, rapper C-Murder was convicted of murder. What a shock. It wasn’t a tough case for the prosecutor:

“State your name.” “C- Murder.” “I rest, your honor.”

That's right, shocking as it may sound, Rapper C-Murder was arrested for murder. And I don’t even want to tell you what rapper Goat Lover was arrested for.

The magic of advertising
Did you see all the Chicago Cubs fans at Atlanta in their 4-2 first playoff win? They were carrying signs for Kerry Wood saying “We Got Wood.” Or was that Rafael Palmero in the Viagra ad?

The One Term-inator
Arianna Huffington is devoting herself to defeat the recall to deny Arnold Schwarzenegger office. Today Arnold announced that, if he had to be around Arianna any more, he, like Arianna’s ex-husband, would also go gay.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a little sad Arianna Huffington has dropped out. After all, Boris without Natasha is like Moose without Squirrel.

Bust a long move
P. Diddy is going to run the New York Marathon. He isn’t kidding, he is serious. To lose some weight for the race, P. Diddy is even going to take off some of his guns.

Well, P. Diddy isn’t going to run exactly, his entourage is going to carry him over the marathon course, but he is going to do it.

This marathon is going to be a real test for P. Diddy’s entourage. They’ve never had to suck up for 26 miles straight before.

Since you asked:

Any questions about my California residence reducing my Cub fandom will now be erased.

Last night – through an unavoidable scheduling mishap (see being married) I had to go to the John Hiatt/ Robert Cray concert on the bay at Humphries. Don’t get me wrong, we went with great friends and that is a wonderful place to see a concert and John Hiatt was out of his mind good, as always. But for the love of Ernie Banks, the Cubs were playing their first playoff game.

So, I had my friend and neighbor, Kevin “Homey Juan” Perron, tape the game and leave it by his front door. I avoided any radios or TV’s until I went to pick it up. The problem? Kevy didn’t leave his townhouse gate open. To procure the game tape, I had to scale a ten foot wrought iron gate with metal spikes designed, nearly successfully in my case, to castrate offending climbers. Twice. Now don't get me wrong, I am an extremely fit mini-triathlete-in-training, and virile, not to mention ruggedly handsome man. But at 6. 2, 225 and 45 years of age, I am not in the perfect ten foot high iron fence climbing demographic.

And I wrenched my knee on the ten-foot drop. Not bad, but I am playing hurt.

OK, so I didn’t fly to Atlanta and see the game like my diehard Cub fan buddy, Ray. But this ends any loose talk and speculation (Woody) that the California sunshine has faded my Cub love.

Whoa, the Cubbies are on. Gotta go.