Thursday, September 25, 2003

Oh yes, we got game all day long, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Ringling and Arnold Brothers
People have described our recall election as a circus. Well I am here to say that is unfair and wrong; there is no way a circus could have this many freaks, clowns and animals running amok.

Critics are saying the debate wasn’t well run. In response, the organizers of the debate say they will look into it and they are fairly positive they will find a way to blame Gray Davis.

Green Acres is the place to be . . .
Hey Arianna Huffington, Ava and Zsa Zsa Gabor called, they want their accent back.

Jou got some splainin’ to do, Lucy
Is it must me, or does Cruz “Bust a move” Bustamante look like Lucy’s boss, Mr. Mooney from “The Lucy Show”?

This esplains that
Did you see Arianna Huffington’s tirade during the debate? Now we know why her husband went gay.

During the debate, Arianna Huffington suggested we should close corporate tax loopholes. This from a rich woman who paid $800 in taxes last year. This is like Arnold coming out against violence in movies.

And action
After the debate, analysts raved over Arnold Schwarzenegger’s performance. They couldn’t believe he did it in one take.

Arnold Schwarzenegger had a kind of embarrassing moment during the debate: when asked about a complicated problem in the budget, Arnold said; “Hasta la vista . . . no, I’ll be baaack . . . uh, game ooover . . . Maria, which one of my movie lines goes with this?”

Welcome to our century
A Nigerian court has overturned a women’s stoning death sentence for adultery. In addition, Nigeria is also considering embracing the concept that the world is, in fact, round.

Toss up
Now the rumor is that J. Lo and Ben Affleck are back together. Can I ask you folks a question? Who has become more annoying, Ben Affleck or that annoying duck in the insurance commercial that quacks Aflac?

Since you asked:
I missed the California recall debate. Why? Because I got caught up watching my Cubbies and then forget about it. Four, baby, four.

From what I have read and heard, everyone is impressed that Arnold didn’t step on his, well, tongue. Is that a good enough qualification to be governor? Hey, he didn’t mess up nearly as much as we thought, so let’s elect him. No.

Clearly McClintock is the class of the field by far. Kudos to Arnold. He showed sincerity and conviction, but the guy is an actor. Actor, as I have mentioned before, don’t write what they say, they don’t direct what they do, they don’t come up with the money, hell, they can’t even put on their own make up. Why on earth do they feel qualified to run anything, let alone, run for office?

Here is what should be done: Arnold and McClintock hold a joint press conference where Arnold graciously and humbly – a word not tossed around with Action hero movie stars – admits that, although he gave a great shot, it is obvious that he and McClintock would kill the republican vote. So, being more concerned about California (Or as Arnold pronounces it, cauliflower) than his ego, Arnold will back McClintock.

This is a win win. Arnold can then get a high level position in McClintock’s administration and everyone looks good. Otherwise, the only sensible thing is to vote against the recall, and we then are stuck with Gray “I could screw up a two-car funeral procession” Davis.

Why is it incumbent upon me to clear these things up? Let’s show a little initiative, Slats and Nuggies.