We ‘bout to raise the roof all up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A different kind of bedtime story
Madonna is coming out with a children’s book. After her Britney-Christina kisses, this Madonna’s children’s book will be different; this time the wicked witch only wants to eat Gretel, not Hansel.

The thundering herd
Did you see Buffalo’s 350-pound defensive tackle Sam Adams intercept a New England Patriot Tom Brady’s pass and rumble 35-yards and score six? And that six was just on the Richter scale.

I don’t get it
*The Chicago Cubs are the sole leaders of first place in the Central division. Here it is into September, and the Cubs are in first place. Cubs fans are like a lottery winner who simply cannot believe their numbers match. “Wait. It’s September? The Cubs are in first? OK, what’s the catch?”

But seriously, folks
*Gray Davis joked about Arnold Schwarzenegger that nobody should be governor who cannot pronounce California. This also marks the first time that the words Gray Davis and joke have been used together.

Can you imagine Gray Davis as a stand up comedian? “Hello? Is this mike on or are we having another blackout?”

Who knew?
*Did you see who won on Sunday? The Detroit Lions. Apparently their new coach, former Forty Niner coach Steve Mariucci, introduced the Lions to something they had never seen before: the other team’s end zone.