Yo, Player, we ain't playin' all up in this here busy Hizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Quit it
Geraldo Rivera got married on Sunday for the 5th time. Geraldo just won’t learn. On his honeymoon, once again, Geraldo unadvisedly revealed his position.
Get over yourself, person
Have you seen the “The Christopher Lowell Show” on the Discovery channel? This Christopher guy gives decorating tips. I don’t want to imply that Lowell is a tad flamboyant, but he makes the Richard Simmons look like Russell Crowe.
That bulky
A study revealed that one in five elite male athletes suffers from poor body image, but unlike women who think they need to lose weight, the elite male athletes wanted to bulk up. In fact, one elite athlete wants to bulk up to the point where he can someday run for Governor of California.
Tres Hot
Europe is in the grips of a horrible heat wave. It was so hot in Paris, ten people actually suffered through the premier of “Gigli” just for the air conditioning.
Please don’t slice it
Next week the Philadelphia Phillies are going to be having their gay community day at the ballpark in a game against the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers will get a chance to see an entirely new kind of wiener race.
Since you asked
It’s a sad day for all Americans and not just the sports world. The engineer and coach of probably the greatest single moment in American Sports, the 1980 Hockey gold medal upset, Herb Brooks, has died. Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren once said;
“The sports page records people's accomplishments, the front page nothing but man's failures.”
Anyone who doubts the importance of sports need look no further than that amazing gold medal performance at Lake Placid. A bunch of college hockey players, guided by Brooks, lifted the downtrodden spirit of an entire nation with their miraculous performances. And now, here we are, 23 years older. 23 years. Do you believe in Miracle Ears? Yes.
It wouldn’t be stretching it to compare the 1980 Russian Hockey team defeat at the hands of amateur college players to the 1996 Chicago Bulls losing to a pick-up team. That Russian team not only beat, but in most cases, destroyed every NHL team in its path, including an All Star team.
In 1980, inflation was out the roof, oil prices were staggering, gas was rationed, jobs were scarce, and our national morale was lower than rattle snake poop in a wheel rut. (What am I, Gabby Hayes all of a sudden?) That amazing Hockey victory left an indelible stamp of American pride.
Most sports victories can temporarily lift you up, only to drop you moments later in a sort of great- the-team-won- but-how-does-that-help-me-pay-the-mortgage? hollow feeling. Not the 1980 Olympic Hockey team win. That victory gave us a sense that we, as a nation, were capable of anything. It left me feeling that, if these guys could pull this off, well, maybe graduating from UCSB the next year and getting a job wouldn't be all that tough after all. It was also an antidote to the eight year pain of the 1972 Olympic basketball fiasco. (Again, that was not my fault, Woody)
Thanks again, Herbie.
Quit it
Geraldo Rivera got married on Sunday for the 5th time. Geraldo just won’t learn. On his honeymoon, once again, Geraldo unadvisedly revealed his position.
Get over yourself, person
Have you seen the “The Christopher Lowell Show” on the Discovery channel? This Christopher guy gives decorating tips. I don’t want to imply that Lowell is a tad flamboyant, but he makes the Richard Simmons look like Russell Crowe.
That bulky
A study revealed that one in five elite male athletes suffers from poor body image, but unlike women who think they need to lose weight, the elite male athletes wanted to bulk up. In fact, one elite athlete wants to bulk up to the point where he can someday run for Governor of California.
Tres Hot
Europe is in the grips of a horrible heat wave. It was so hot in Paris, ten people actually suffered through the premier of “Gigli” just for the air conditioning.
Please don’t slice it
Next week the Philadelphia Phillies are going to be having their gay community day at the ballpark in a game against the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers will get a chance to see an entirely new kind of wiener race.
Since you asked
It’s a sad day for all Americans and not just the sports world. The engineer and coach of probably the greatest single moment in American Sports, the 1980 Hockey gold medal upset, Herb Brooks, has died. Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren once said;
“The sports page records people's accomplishments, the front page nothing but man's failures.”
Anyone who doubts the importance of sports need look no further than that amazing gold medal performance at Lake Placid. A bunch of college hockey players, guided by Brooks, lifted the downtrodden spirit of an entire nation with their miraculous performances. And now, here we are, 23 years older. 23 years. Do you believe in Miracle Ears? Yes.
It wouldn’t be stretching it to compare the 1980 Russian Hockey team defeat at the hands of amateur college players to the 1996 Chicago Bulls losing to a pick-up team. That Russian team not only beat, but in most cases, destroyed every NHL team in its path, including an All Star team.
In 1980, inflation was out the roof, oil prices were staggering, gas was rationed, jobs were scarce, and our national morale was lower than rattle snake poop in a wheel rut. (What am I, Gabby Hayes all of a sudden?) That amazing Hockey victory left an indelible stamp of American pride.
Most sports victories can temporarily lift you up, only to drop you moments later in a sort of great- the-team-won- but-how-does-that-help-me-pay-the-mortgage? hollow feeling. Not the 1980 Olympic Hockey team win. That victory gave us a sense that we, as a nation, were capable of anything. It left me feeling that, if these guys could pull this off, well, maybe graduating from UCSB the next year and getting a job wouldn't be all that tough after all. It was also an antidote to the eight year pain of the 1972 Olympic basketball fiasco. (Again, that was not my fault, Woody)
Thanks again, Herbie.
posted by Alex at
2:58 PM
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