What the fuzizzle, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?


Thumbs up this
The critics all agree: After watching the J. Lo-Ben Affleck movie “Gigli,” “Seabiscuit” has now been upgraded from a good movie to the greatest movie ever made.

How bad was the J. Lo-Ben/ Ben Affleck movie “Gigli?” Madonna couldn’t have made it worse.

Irony Mike
Mike Tyson has declared bankruptcy. It’s pretty bad, today they had to repossess his face tattoo. After declaring bankruptcy, Mike Tyson claims bad advice, mismanagement, and unfair deals have caused him to lose $300 million in ring earnings. That and the fact that Tyson is a stark-raving psychotic lunatic probably didn’t help.

He shoots, he scores, he accessorizes
David Beckham scored his first goal for Real Madrid in their 3-0 win over F.C. Tokyo. Incidentally, for those guys interested in developing the same feminized Metro-sexual look as Beckham, you can rent the video; “Gender Bend it Like Beckham.”

Win some lose some
Kobe Bryant lost his endorsement deal for Nutella chocolate spread. The good news is that he may have picked up Zales, the diamond store.

Go Crocs
The University of Florida Gators put a crocodile on the cover of their football media guide by mistake. They are ranked 21st behind the first place University of Oklahoma Laters. On September 6th, they play the Miami University Tornadoes.

This doesn’t surprise me, what with their dubious academic record and player run-ins with the law, I’ve always said that Florida was a croc.