Bringin' the new girls happy feet, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Say it ain’t so
*Sixteen months after their lavish, star-studded New York wedding, singer-actress Liza Minnelli and her fourth husband, producer David Gest, have separated. It turns out Liza has fallen for another pretending-to-be-straight guy.

Now it looks like they are going to have to get a sham divorce.

If those two normal kids can’t make it, what chance do the rest of us have?

Is it just me, or does David Gest look eerily like the picture of the overly made-up and dead Qusay Hussein?

You Can’t Always Remember What You Want
*Mick Jagger turns 60 this week. Mick is also working on his new single: “Start me up, with some Metamucil.”

Both Mick Jagger and drummer Charlie Watts are over sixty. When the rest of the band turns sixty, they will legally have to change their name to the Rolling Kidney Stones.

Now he’s toast
*They have caught Saddam Hussein’s bodyguard. It is really looking like Hussein is going to be found; Saddam owes twenty bucks in late fees to Blockbuster, so it should just be a matter of hours until those nasty bastards nail him.

Count me in
*USA TODAY Poll asked whether homosexual relations between consenting adults should be legal, 48% said yes, and 46% said no. When asked if legal rights should be granted to guys who want a manages- au- trios with two women, but have never had one, 96% of men replied yes.

Ouch
*St. Louis Rams free safety Jason Sehorn broke his left foot in practice and is expected to be out until October. Sehorn will wear a removable cast that will cover his foot and ankle. This also marks the first time the words Sehorn and cover have been used together in three years.

Poor Jason has to lie around and be waited on hand and foot by his wife Angie Harmon. I’m starting to think this injury was self-inflicted.

Poor thing
*In a “People” interview, Angelina Jolie proclaimed she has not had sex in over a year. Angelina hasn’t had sex in a year? That’s the biggest waste since Anne Heche was a lesbian for a year.

Angelina has had less sex than a Christian rock groupie.

Stop it
New York city has established the first high school just for gays, Harvey Milk High school. You should see what they’re making in shop class.

The school motto at the gay Harvey Milk High? Got Milk?

The school cheer? Get over yourselves, persons.

So that’s why David Gest divorced Liza Minella, he wants to go back and get his high school diploma.

To celebrate the opening of the new all gay New York high school, Harvey Milk High's baseball team played in exhibition game; they beat the Mets 12-0.