That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, we the type of player player haters hate to play, T.T.T. and Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Going, going, gone
Barry Bonds connected twice in front of a Shea Stadium crowd that included former President Clinton to give him 650 homers in the San Francisco Giants' 5-4 loss to the Mets Tuesday night. It was a night of milestones; in addition, coincidentally Clinton hit on his 650th woman this year.

The nerve
Kenyon Martin is miffed that the New Jersey Nets have offered him a meager $66 million over six years (he wants $87 million). Who can blame him? Eleven million a year? What a slap in the face. Mike Tyson’s Tigers spill more in cat food than that.

Uh, one, two, what’s that next thing?
New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey vividly described his sexual fantasies in Maxim magazine including wanting a “threesome” with three women. Uh, Jeremy, wouldn’t you and three women make a foursome? Good thing somebody else keeps score of Shockey’s games.

Shockey is living proof that, like Mike Tyson, Mark Cuban and countless others, just because a celebrity has a mouth, it doesn’t mean they know how to use it.

New meaning to getting his head in the game
Ted Williams' head and body are being stored in separate containers at an Arizona cryonics lab according to a story in Sports Illustrated. This is the worst treatment of a body since “Weekend at Bernie’s.”


Thought for the day

Nature abhors a vacuum . . . but, oddly enough, nature doesn't mind a Dustbuster