I loves me some my Super Bowl, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers, I surely do

We'll never forget where we were when we first heard the news
Rapper Jay Z announced to E Online that he is getting out of the music business. Now, I am confused, I thought he was a Rapper, so what does that have to do with the music business? I've mentioned it before, but I still find it interesting: Did you know that the first letter in the word rap is a silent C?

Young blood
It’s cold back east. It’s so cold, R. Kelly groped a legal-aged woman just for the warmth. This is getting ugly. Today an irate fan yelled at R. Kelley; “You’re just a lousy pedophile.” R. Kelly responded; “Wow, pedophile is a big word for such a cute 12-year-old.”

Did you hear Pete Townsend is recording a new single? “Don’t let the son go down on me.” Did you hear that R. Kelley and Pete Townsend are collaborating? And then they may record an album.

How crowded is it?
It is really crowded in San Diego for the Super Bowl; it is so crowded there is no room for Mexicans to sneak across the border. One celebrity Super Bowl party was so packed, Diana Ross couldn’t fall down.

The Psychedelic Bowl?
Isn’t it time to update the name of the Super Bowl? It’s a little Sixties. Granted, it’s better than the Groovy Bowl, or the Far Out Bowl, but not much. How about the You Dah Man, Dawg Bowl?

Hey Sonny, can you buy me some beer?
A Wisconsin man, Don Meyer, was annoyed when a Pick 'n Save clerk here recently carded him in the liquor store. Why? The guy is 76-years-old. Store clerks, here is a hint, if someone’s drivers license picture is an oil painting, the person is probably too old to card.