Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Are you feelin' me, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

No beef against Kobe
Kobe Bryant made a record 12 shots from 3-point range, including nine straight, as the Los Angeles Lakers beat the Seattle SuperSonics 119-98. In fact, Kobe put up more shots than Diana Ross’ personal bartender.

How drunk was she?
More is coming out about Diana Ross extreme DUI. It turns out she was so drunk she apologized for Trent Lott.

And it would smell better
New York fans are furious about the NFL refs blowing the call that could have won the game for the Giants against the San Francisco Forty Niners. It’s so bad, the NFL is now looking to relocate their Manhattan headquarters to a friendlier location: Baghdad.

It's a dubious thing
Martha Stewart led the voting by 1.4 million visitors to a web site's list of Most Annoying people of 2002. Al Gore is demanding a recount.

A bad rap
New York police are investigating a connection between hip-hop label Murder Inc. and a drug gang. I hope that isn’t true, that would be terrible for the reputation of the drug gang.

The noun is . . . anyone? Anyone? Anyone?
A key Iraqi official said the United States and Britain were bent on war with Baghdad to subjugate the Middle East. Now why would President Bush want to subjugate the Middle East? Back in English class, he couldn’t subjugate a verb.

Since you asked:
Here are my thoughts on that awesome Giant/ Niners game last Sunday:

Occasionally – not often enough, especially recently – but occasionally an NFL game results in magic. That happened in San Francisco last week when the Forty Niners came back from 24 points behind to beat the New York Giants.

The sky had that distinctive bright San Francisco golden hue. You could almost smell the salt air, the sourdough bread, the steaming crabs, the Irish Coffees at the Buena Vista and burning cable car brake pads.

Both teams played hard and well – OK, except for that poor Giant long-snapper. (By the way, I think the special at Fisherman’s Wharf was the long snapper) The only truly bone-headed moves came from Niner receiver Terrill Owens and Giant safety Shaun Williams. Terrill claimed that Williams was “running his mouth all game.” All game? Terrill has been running his mouth his entire life. Anyway, near the end, Owens hit Williams out of bounds and they went at it so hard, I think they ripped each other’s “What Would Jesus Do?” wristbands off each other.

Sure, the game ended on a bad penalty, but so what? (I will give Giants fans a chance to take their blood pressure medicine) It was a masterpiece and masterpieces are supposed to include flaws so as not to commit hubris and upset the Gods. Any game that can rise above the NFL’s endless commercial time-outs, regular time-outs, time outs to move the chains, time-outs to think about a time-out, and the time-outs to review plays, well, that is some game.

That was some game.