Saturday, October 19, 2002

Do like you do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

All writers who were quoted on page 17 of yesterday's Wall Street Journal in the hizzouse say yeah.


I have this re-occurring writer’s nightmare that right in the middle of typing, suddenly I have this mental lapse, and I lose the ability to connect words with their correct meaning. It really makes me feel all drooling banana bottle rain pinky. You know what I window?

Now Continental had to kick a pilot off for being drunk. They became suspicious when he kept interrupting the in-flight movie to point out all of the distilleries along the way.

Here’s the latest Hollywood game: How do you make a screen writer scream yes and then immediately scream no? You say; “The studio called, they want to make your movie. And Madonna wants to star in it.”

The FBI has a new anti-terrorist safety plan. They go to any room that is might be under a terrorist threat and show Madonna’s movie “Swept Away.” Even terrorists can’t stand it. Rumor has it that even Demi Moore is making fun of Madonna’s film career.

On the bright side for Madonna, “Swept Away” is so bad it actually make some of her earlier movies seem not nearly as awful.

Far be it from me to say that Madonna is a bad actress, but they are showing “Swept Away” as an example of what not to do at The Pauly Shore Acting School. I don’t want to say that Madonna is a bad actress, but you can generally see more acting depth and range on “The Anna Nicole Show.”

The World Series is about to start, and, I don’t mean to be a sour-puss, but I am starting to wish they would bring back the Atlanta Braves annoying Tomahawk Chop and use it on the frickin' Rally Monkey.