Friday, September 27, 2002

We're back in the saddle again, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Remember when Japanese professional speed-eater Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi set the world record at the international hot dog eating contest, scarfing down 50½ hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes? It turns out there are allegations Kobayashi used drugs, muscle relaxers. I don’t care if the guy took drugs or not. Over 50 hot dogs? I get heartburn when I eat Tums too fast.

Unranked Louisville beat fourth ranked Florida State 26-20 in overtime in a huge college football upset. You know how a tie is like kissing your sister? In Kentucky an overtime upset win is like kissing your cousin. (Once again, I can kid because I care. I was born in Louisville and certainly mean no offense to my genteel brethren.

Oxford English Dictionary has added the words , ''Jedi'' warriors and ''Klingon'.' In addition they have added the phrase thirty-year-old-male-virgin-dorks.

A study in the New England Journal of Medicine claims that men who look at women’s breasts every day for ten minutes will have lower blood pressure and live longer than those who don’t. In a related story, gym membership sales have plummeted.