The Scooch Pooch of Mount Scaramooch, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers




The movie about Tonya Harding, “I, Tonya,” is in theaters. Some critics say it is biased for Tonya Harding. Like the scene where Nancy Kerrigan releases her flying monkeys.

Amazon now has a feature that allows you to build a shopping profile for your pet. Just log on to Amazon and click on: "You're probably going to die alone." 

While playing golf, Donald Trump bragged to golfer, Brad Faxton, he has 158 million followers on Twitter. Trump has 44 million. The missing 114 million followers are residents of the countries of Nambia and Covfefe.

The movie about Tonya Harding, “I, Tonya,” is in theaters. Remember Tonya’s idiot husband, Jeff Gillooly? When he got out of prison, he changed his name for privacy. He is now Caitlyn Gillooly.

The movie about Tonya Harding, “I, Tonya,” is in theaters. Remember Tonya’s idiot husband, Jeff Gillooly and her moron body guard, Shawn Eckert? They weren’t just the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, they were the gang that emptied all of their bullets into their foot.

The movie about Tonya Harding, “I, Tonya,” is in theaters. Remember Tonya’s idiot husband, Jeff Gillooly? He was the first person sent to prison for sheer stupidity.

The movie about Tonya Harding, “I, Tonya,” is in theaters. Tonya liked it. She gave it three rusted-out lawn transmissions up.

Nancy Kerrigan gave it three kneecaps up.


A Delta flight from JFK to Seattle had to stop for repairs in Montana when all of the toilets went out. You think they could have had that fixed in nearby Flushing Meadows. 

Since you asked:

To my utter amazement, I was watching the news on the local wildfires and they had a story filmed and reported from up in a helicopter. Being neither an expert on helicopters nor wildfires, nonetheless this struck me as a colossally stupid thing to do. Helicopters are wind-making machines and wildfires feed off the wind.

“We’re going to take this gasoline tanker and spray some gas over the fire to see if that does anything. Back to you guys in the studio.” 

To be candid, those Christmas carolers were kind of dicks about insisting on their freaking figgy pudding. Oh you won’t leave until you get some? Let’s see what Johnny Law has to say about that.  

Ah. Having a cold is just one way of life reminding you that your temple of a body is just a massive collection of holes that leak nasty fluid. 

Merry Christmas, everybody.