"Do these balloons blow up into funny shapes?"

"Not unless round is funny."

Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Prince Harry is engaged to American actress, Meghan Markle. For those upset you missed your chance with Harry or Meghan, you can log-on to: www.YouHadNoChance.com. 

Tiger Woods played well at Trump’s National golf course. Donald Trump was so impressed with one of Tiger’s drives, Trump almost missed kicking his ball back into the fairway.





Eight years ago, Tiger Woods crashed his car, and his wife, Elin, hit him in the mouth with a golf club for cheating. Since then, Tiger’s career trajectory can only be described as Cleveland Brown-esque.



In a White House ceremony honoring Navaho code talkers, Donald Trump called  Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas. Here is an interesting fact: Pocahontas is a Native American word for Covfefe.



The largest spa company, Message Envy, has been charged by 180 women with sexual harassment. Next to be sued for sexual harassment: the employees of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada.



The largest spa company, Massage Envy, has been charged by 180 women with sexual harassment. Some of the shocking charges include being asked to get naked and being rubbed on their body.




In a White House ceremony honoring Navaho code talkers, Donald Trump called  Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas. Trump then mislead a two-car funeral procession to a creamery instead of the cemetery.




Dominoes Pizza is now offering Carryout Insurance to cover pizzas that get ruined on the way home. Initially it was called the “Please Hold the Box with Both Hands, Eric Trump” policy.



You know what I love about re-seeing holiday movies? It’s noticing things you missed before. Like in “It’s a Wonderful Life,” when Bert-the-cop and Ernie-the-cabbie took all those “fishing trips” up to Mount "Brokeback" Bedford.